Moved over to main website blog:Begin your pelvic floor rehab

Hi to all the wonderful families connecting with Doulacare Ireland. My name is Louise Murphy and I’m a doula and a physiotherapist specialising in pelvic health. 

With the current Covid19 emergency, I’m really conscious that many women in Ireland at the moment won’t have access to pelvic health physiotherapy. This is obviously particularly difficult if you have an acute issue like a large tear after your baby's birth or urinary or bowel leakage or urgency.

So I wanted to reach out to share some tips on how to manage these problems and begin your pelvic floor rehab. 

1. Try not to panic. Not getting to your physiotherapist immediately doesn’t mean that things will necessarily get worse or never improve. If you have a lot of urgency or urge incontinence (leaking as you rush to the toilet), going to the toilet regularly (about every 2 hours) is advisable. This makes sure that the bladder isn’t over filling and overflowing.

2. Keep any stitches dry and clean. Don’t apply anything to them except water. Rinse the area or sit in a shallow bath after using the toilet and gently pat the area dry.

3. For the dreaded bowel movements:

   1. Take advantage of the gastrocolic reflex. This reflex means you’re most likely to have a bowel movement if you go to the toilet half an hour after breakfast, regardless whether you feel an urge or not. Try to make this part of your routine.

   2. Take your time. We all know how it is with a new baby – we run into the bathroom, sit down and push out the pee as fast as we can to get back to our (usually crying) as quickly as possible. So I want you to take your baby with you. Maybe in a bouncer or moses basket or even in a wrap if you have to. Aim to spend 5-7 minutes sitting on the toilet to allow things to happen.

   3. Use the correct position on the toilet. We are designed so that our bowels empty best in a squatting position so feet up on a stool, lean forwards, elbows on knees and entertain your baby, read a book or just enjoy some quiet time!

   4. Use your hand wrapped in tissue to support any stitches if it hurts to them to empty the bowel. 

   5. Take any laxative prescribes for you, hydrate well and eat healthily.

4. Start some pelvic floor rehab. I usually start this by making sure my patients can breathe well and have some awareness of their pelvic floor muscles and what they’re doing. This sounds simple but many, many people find this bit the most difficult part of their rehab. 

Breathing

So make sure that you can do:

• Upper chest breathing – hand on your upper chest and breathe in so that your chest rises towards your chin.

• Lateral (rib) breathing – hand on the ribs on each side and breathe in so that your hands move outwards on your ribs.

• Abdominal breathing – one hand on your chest and one on your tummy. Breathe in and concentrate on allowing your tummy to move outwards while minimising movement in your chest.

If you learn better from observing, just pop the different types of breathing into YouTube and lots of demo videos will come up. 

Practice these different types of breathing in different positions – lying, sitting, standing and practice being more mindful about how you normally breathe. 

Awareness

Once you’ve got the breathing mastered and can do it without having to concentrate too much, I normally move my patients on to working on their awareness. So while practicing your different types of breathing, pay attention to what’s happening with the pelvic floor. 

Just paying attention to begin with. At first you might not really notice anything but stick with it. 

Look out for:

• What the pelvic floor feels like when you breathe in.

• What it feels like when you breathe out.

• What are your tummy muscles doing?

• What’s your bum up to? Nothing? Tightening? Relaxed?

Ideally, we want you to be able to feel a subtle release of the pelvic floor as you breathe in and a gentle (not conscious) tighten or lift as you breathe out.

If you’re aware of this happening, you’re ready to move on to co-ordination.

This is pretty simple but takes practice. So: 

• Breathe in slowly

• Begin to breathe out

• Add a gentle pelvic floor squeeze as you continue to breathe out

• Release

You should be able to feel the squeeze and also the release. If you can’t feel the release, let you a little sooner as your muscle may not yet be strong enough to hold for the full breath out. 

Repeat this 5-10 times a few times a day. If you can, make your squeeze a little bit smaller with each repetition. This improves your control and sensation and reduces squeezing of the other muscles around the area which we want to keep to a minimum.

If you’ve got as far as this, you’re doing great! Keep working on these exercises in different positions and improving your control and sensation. 

If you’re struggling, please don’t feel alone. I’m available through Doulacare Ireland for a chat and will get back to you as soon as I possibly can. There are some online resources available to you that might also help and I’m linking to them below.

My online course: https://mindingmums.teachable.com/p/resetting-your-pelvic-floor (Coupon Code MARCH2020 for 30% off)

Free online Womens Health After Motherhood course:

https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/womens-health-after-motherhood

Videos from the Rotunda Physiotherapy Department:

https://rotunda.ie/knowledgebase/physiotherapy/

This link is about constipation and while you might not necessarily be constipated, a lot of the same information applies:

https://www.evidentlycochrane.net/feet-up-constipation/

Some information about dealing with bladder urgency:

https://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/bladder-training

Some physiotherapists are also doing virtual consultations for clients so chevk in with your local physio to see if they’re able to facilitate this for you. 

Good luck, 

Louise x

Many thanks to Louise for putting this blog together. You can read more about the support Louise offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/louise-murphy

10 Things To Do With Toddlers While #staythefuckhome

With the current covid-19 crisis and the related social distancing, many of us find ourselves at home with our toddlers, thrown out of our usual routine and into the deep end of parenting without the option to visit zoos, playgrounds or swimming pools. While it can seem daunting at first, this can actually be a great time to really tune into your child and make some great memories as a family. In the years to come, our smallies will most likely not remember any details about the virus, but about what happened in our homes during this time – so let’s give it a whirl!

10 Things To Do With Toddlers While #staythefuckhome

1.       Find a show you all enjoy

While being stuck at home, many of us allow the kids a bit more screen time than usual (just pay attention to your child’s cues – some get easily overwhelmed with too much screen time), but you don’t have to endure hours and hours of the typical children’s shows (unless you really enjoy it). Try to find a program (preferably with loads of episodes) you all enjoy! My 3 year old loves The Great British Bake Off, Junior Bake Off or The Secret Life of The Zoo. Nature documentaries like Blue Planet can be fun and educational for the whole family and may help you keep your sanity a little longer.

2.       Get baking

If you usually don’t have the time to bake with your kids, now is your chance. Recipes range from total beginner to master chef and you can find them all with a simple Google search. Don’t rush through it – take your time (after all – we have loads of it right now) and let your little ones help as much as they like – even though it gets messy. Enjoy the experience and the memories you’re making, even if the result looks a little wonky in the end. 

3.       Give a concert

Do you have an aspiring rockstar at home (or are one yourself)? Why not play a concert in your living room (or if you’re brave put on a show for the neighbourhood in your front garden or your balcony!). Whether you’re playing an actual instrument, shake some homemade rattles (another good project to do!), rock a classic pots-and-pans drumkit or an air guitar – put on a great show with your kids and sing and dance your hearts out. They’ll remember it for the rest of their lives!

4.       Build a fort

I’m sure most of us can remember building forts and dens in our childhood. The excitement of crawling into your own little space, your magnificent fort, safe from dragons and all the worries in the world… Why not help your little ones build a fort indoors (blankets, pillows, chairs…) or in your garden (branches, leaves, tarps,…)? This will probably give you hours (if not days) of plat time together and at the end of the day, you can all curl up together in your den and read some bedtime stories.

5.       Attempt a long term project

Now might be the right time to start a long(er) term project with your toddler. Always wanted to grow your own veg? Get your kids involved in sowing the seeds, watering, observing, transplanting…  Had you planned to build a tree house but never gotten around to it? Do it now and let them help! Take a few minutes to sit down and think if there’s any projects you had meant to do with your kids but never did because the time wasn’t right or it would “take too long”. Now is the time to do them!

6.       Get Messy

I know, I know – as parents one of the things we do all the time is cleaning up messes. Mostly  messes we didn’t make. And most of us don’t particularly enjoy this part of parenting. But once in a while it can actually be fun to let the kids get messy (I discovered this when my 3 year old helped herself to 2kg of plain flour the other day….). Instead of worrying about the clean up, enjoy the fun and silliness of getting your hands dirty, splash water through the whole bathroom, play with flour, make a huge mud pit in the garden or do a massive action painting! 

7.       Move!

With playgrounds closed and outside activities limited to uncrowded places, it’s important to incorporate some movement into our new routine and make sure we all run off some energy at some point (cabin fever sets in quickly!). There are some fantastic exercise videos for kids (or families) online, but you don’t have to rely on technology to move. Make up fun movement games, create your own HIIT workout in which every family member chooses one exercise to add to your routine, do a silly dance party, play catch in the garden, see who can jump the longest (or highest or furthest)! 

8.       Do something you always wanted to do

Is there anything YOU always wanted to do? Not necessarily for your kids, but for yourself? Learn a new skill? A new craft? A new language? Why not try and start it, even though your kids might distract you? I’m one of those people who always want to do things “properly” and take my time and concentrate on the task at hand, but that often means I don’t get to do those things until my child is asleep (and I’m knackered). So why not try and casually do bits here and there? I found I’m able to read a new book much quicker if I read a few pages throughout the day when my toddler allows, rather than plucking up the energy to do it in the evening. You may be surprised – your children may actually join in on your activity and it might become a new family project!

9.       Learn a language

Is there a language you or your child is curious about? Do you have anyone in your family or amongst your friends who speaks another language? You could use this time of social distancing to actually connect with someone and learn a few words and sentences of them. Kids usually have a great memory and can remember easy words or phrases quickly, so it could become a fun activity of skyping a friend for a few minutes every day and learning a new word or learning a nursery rhyme in a foreign language. 

10.   Write your own book

Make up your own story with your kids and write it down! Let the kids decide what happens, let them illustrate the pages and keep it as a wonderful memory of a time spent together as a family.

We’re all in this together. Let’s make the most of it.

With thanks to one of our doulas Lisa for putting this list together. You can read more about the support Lisa offers on this link https://www.doulacare.ie/lisatierney

Moved over:What is all that white stuff on my newborn? (Vernix)

What is all that white yucky stuff on my baby?! 

The vernix caseosa is a greasy, cheese-like coating that covers babies’ skin during their time in the womb. It may not look pretty but the vernix actually serves an important function: It protects your new baby's skin from getting pickled by amniotic fluid in utero. (you know when you're in the bath too long?)

Vernix usually develops around 19 weeks into pregnancy and continues to thicken until around week 34. By week 40, the vernix is mostly gone.

Babies born earlier tend to have more vernix than those born later. Babies born a few weeks before their due date might still be well coated. Babies born at term may only have a little bit of vernix left in the folds of their skin or under their nails. Babies born after their due date might not have any vernix left at all. Occasionally their skin might be wrinkled or peeling as a result, but don’t worry — it’s temporary! (remember the being in a bath too long reference?)

The vernix caseosa helps form a barrier between your baby’s skin and the surrounding amniotic fluid. Its main role is to protect and hydrate

It does have other benefits too:

🤰During pregnancy: The vernix can help to nourish developing gut bacteria (as your baby swallows some in utero) 

❤️During labour: Vernix’s greasy, oily texture could serve as a natural lubricant as your baby makes their way down the birth canal.

👶After birth: Vernix can continue to protect your baby’s skin by helping it retain moisture and stave off bacterial infections as they adjust to our outside world

🤱Breastfeeding: Vernix help babies latch on too. The smell of vernix and amniotic fluid triggers neural connections in babies’ brain needed for breastfeeding. 

🧕For Mother: Vernix contains compounds thought to promote perineal wound healing, so it may aid in recovery for vaginal births. 

So try to resist the urge of washing or rubbing it off. Rub it into baby! Evidence shows delaying your baby's first bath can help with bonding, breastfeeding and protection. WHO (World Health Organisation) recommends leaving the vernix on your baby for at least six hours, and preferably 24 hours after birth. As for an upper limit? There’s no official recommendation. Many parents wait days.

Did your baby have much vernix at birth?

Have you heard of Naming Ceremony?

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A Naming Ceremony is a celebration of family and life. This is a great way to bring your family and friends together. The Ceremony is written in conjunction with the parents and a Celebrant to create a personalised and meaningful occasion. It usually includes bestowing a name on your child and declarations of promises and commitments from the parents and guide parents and other important people in the child’s life.

Naming Ceremonies can be held in the home or at a venue of your choosing but not in a Church. They are also not officiated by a Priest but by a Celebrant. Although a Naming Ceremony is secular in its origin, it is entirely the personal choice of the parents as to whether any religious content, from any faith, is included. Having contact with your Celebrant is the best approach as you can use their experience to make the ceremony exactly how you have envisaged it. The Ceremony can be either relaxed or formal. You have total freedom to create a memorable experience for your family and loved ones.

Some parents like their other children in the ceremony. Their siblings can choose to write and say a reading or poem, or perhaps make their own commitments. They may want to make a promise to help look after their new sibling. As a family you may like to light unity candles or have a sand blending ceremony, the action of doing something like this as a family can be significant in bringing you all together.  

In the ceremony you can incorporate readings, poetry and music. The most important part is choosing the aspects that are special to you and your family.  Parents will declare their hopes and wishes for their child’s future and will share this experience with family and friends.  

Naming Ceremonies will include the bestowing of a name - this is where the child is named, perhaps giving the reasons for choosing that name, maybe it was an ancestral name or perhaps had an interesting history. This marks the very first time that a child is introduced to their community using their new given name

 Guide parents are chosen to make commitments to support and guide the child as they grow and they will make themselves available should the child ever need them for advice, care, guidance or help, this is similar to the role of God Parents.  Promises may be made by Guide parents, they can either answer questions asked by the celebrant during the ceremony, or they can prepare their own promises to your child - in doing this their role becomes even more personal to them. You will be surrounding your child with loving role models to nurture them and have a positive impact on their life. 

The duration of a Ceremony will depend on how many Ceremony enhancements, readings/poems you include, a Naming Ceremony usually last around 25-30 minutes

Some parents like to personalise the ceremony to include symbolic elements such as the lighting of unity candles, a sand blending ceremony, hand and foot prints as a keepsake or the planting of a tree (if the ceremony is being held in your home).

Naming ceremonies are not legally binding and do not have any legal status, although you may be presented with a record of the ceremony as a token of the day.

Naming ceremonies can also be tailored to welcome adoptive children and step-children into a new, extended family or relationship.

My name is Carol Colman and I am an accredited Celebrant with the Irish Institute of Celebrants. I am based in Dublin and I also cover surrounding counties.  I can be contacted through my website www.loveisallyouneed.ie ,on Facebook Carol Colman Family Celebrant or by email at carolcolman57@gmail.com.  I as a Celebrant will offer home consultation, alternatively you can choose to have contact through online platforms such as Skype, WhatsApp or other video call software, but if it’s possible, I would recommend meeting  person – but as a parent myself I fully understand how precious your time is with a new arrival or toddler.   

Throughout the process, I will discuss the options to personalise the ceremony and will get to know you so I can tailor a ceremony to suit your family needs.

I am an expert in creating bespoke celebrations that people love. I can help you by guiding you through what can be involved in the ceremony and also giving some ideas you may not yet have considered.

My Special Offer to anyone who quotes DoulaCare in their contact email to me is that they will receive their Ceremony for €200 (Usual price €250)

Here is some inspiration for things you may want to include:

• A book can be available at the celebration which guests are asked to sign or write a message and good wishes for the future for the child and the family.

• Guests could be asked to bring something small for the child, such as a letter or a flower, which is collected at the start of the ceremony.

• The celebrant can ask if any guests would like to say anything about the child after the ceremony.

• A video can be made with guests saying a message for your child at some point in the future.

• Creating a naming certificate with the details of the day and name which can be kept after the day for the child.

• Planting a tree either as part of the ceremony or after at your home. This can symbolise growing as family.

• A Sand Blending ritual can be a nice addition if there are other children in the family

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So Meghan Markle hired a Doula? What is that? Part 2

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 2.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Postpartum Doula support.

In times past (and indeed today in many cultures around the world) parents were not sent home from hospital with a new baby and expected to know what to do and manage on their own. We would have had the support of families, neighbours, friends - minding us, feeding us, helping us adjust to the changes in our lives and allowing the new Mum to rest and recover from birth and support her during the first few weeks of life with a small baby. Today we are often lacking this support and just expected to cope. People do call in to visit but don’t think to bring a cooked meal for the Mum, let her rest, load the dishwasher or ask how she is doing. The focus is often on the baby and the Mum is just expected to get on with it. However, we are not hardwired to manage in this way. We need the support of others in those first few weeks and months and in lieu of support from our community the postpartum doula can step in and offer this support.

A Postpartum Doula begins work with their client as soon as they book in. For some, this is during pregnancy (the forward planners!) and for others this is after baby is born. If it is during pregnancy, your doula will help you to prepare for your new arrival and the huge shift your life will take. If it is after birth, your doula will slot right in to your new routine (even if you don’t think there is any form of routine) As with Birth Doula support, your Postpartum Doula comes with many layers of support. We help you to debrief and process your birth experience. We nurture you while you recover from birth and find your new normal. We help your older children adjust to having a new dynamic in the family. We support your partner, adjusting to their new role and debriefing their own experiences. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and support every step of the way - as each new day brings new challenges. Above all, we help you to savour the good moments between the chaos :)

Knowledge: Doulas are information junkies. We love reading, attending study days and growing our knowledge base. In DoulaCare Ireland all our Doulas must attend at least three CPD days per year. - which ensures the building of knowledge as evidence changes and new research is undertaken. We also learn from every interaction, with each individual client. We bring that knowledge base to you when you come home with your new baby. No matter what comes up, with your recovery after birth or your babies needs - chances are we have seen it before (or we know who to call if not).

Encouragement: Anyone who has had a baby, knows that surreal feeling of being left in charge of this new tiny human. Many parents feel “they are not seriously letting me home alone with this baby? I don’t even know how to bath him or tell if he is hungry” Don’t fear. It is normal to feel that way. The truth is no parent has the answers. Babies don’t come out with an instruction manual. We all learn on the job! The great thing is, with your Postpartum Doula by your side - you have a calm presence helping you every step of the way. So nothing feels overwhelming. You and your baby learn together, with a helping hand from your Doula.

Information: To new parents this is invaluable. The number one question we get asked… “Is this normal?” Rest assured, your Doula will have all the latest evidence and research at hand to help you make informed decisions when the fog of parenting clouds your brain. It can be hard to process information when you are recovering from birth and haven’t slept more than an hour in 2 weeks. Your Doula will give you the information you need in bite sized chunks so you can fully process it as required. She would also be delighted to tuck you up in bed, with clean sheets, after a hot shower and home cooked meal - and after a nice nap it is easier to think more clearly and have perspective on the changes in your life!

Hands-on tips and tricks: A Postpartum Doula passes on all the parenting tips and tricks they have picked up through their training and working experience. They help you to simplify your daily life. Sometimes it’s a gentle suggestion on where to keep the changing table, that you hadn’t thought of (like having a second one in that corner downstairs to save you running up and down the stairs 20 times a day) Sometimes it is demonstrating different methods of helping baby to get wind up - which can be a tricky skill to master.

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. In parenting, it can be helping them to figure out how to put a baby grow on baby (which way is up? Are these the arms? We all know how hard it can be to get a new baby dressed!) It can be explaining the hormonal rollercoaster women ride after giving birth and to expect highs and lows. It can be a listening ear for them to debrief or to gush about their beautiful new son or daughter. Sometimes it is offering gentle suggestions to help them adjust to their new role and see what part they can play in supporting their partner and adjusting to their own new role.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with the perfect doula for their needs. In the bigger contracts (100+ hours) you will usually have two doulas offering support. You have the opportunity to meet both beforehand. Both doulas will know your parenting style and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to change your scheduled hours you have the option of your second doula covering so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

We know from neuroscience that our brains are not hardwired to manage on our own in those first few weeks of adjusting to life with a new baby. All so often when we arrive at a new Mums house, they disclose that they feel they are doing something wrong as they struggle to cope. So few of us talk about how hard it is, that many are left feeling not good enough. The postpartum doula steps in to fill the gap. We are there to build confidence and make those first few weeks a positive memory for years to come - in other words to help a family thrive and not just survive the early days of parenting

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Meghan Markle has hired a doula, what is that? Part 1

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 1.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Birth Doula support. 

A Birth Doula begins work with their client during pregnancy. Supporting them throughout pregnancy, labour and birth. We don’t clock out at 8pm. We are there by our clients side every step of the way. Offering continuity of care throughout pregnancy, labour, birth and postpartum. We then visit our clients at home, offering support with all those early parenting questions.. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and hands on tips and tricks of the trade. 

Knowledge: We help our clients to understand their chosen place of birth (most commonly a hospital) policies.We compare the different hospitals policies, statistics and what the National Clinical Guidelines say. We also chat about International Guidelines and help our clients to make informed decisions about their care. We also cover the physical process of labour and birth and common things that come up. We can assist our clients to create their birth preferences for their unique journey. After baby arrives we share all the latest evidence on infant care, recovery after birth and anything else you’re wondering about too!

Encouragement: We build up our clients. A huge part of our role is to help our clients (the birthing mother and her partner) to feel confident. We are like their coach or cheerleader from the sidelines, reminding them of all the skills they have gained throughout their pregnancy and the strength they have within. This does not stop once baby arrives. We build you up again after birth and remind you of that strength and knowledge.

Information: Apart from the mentioned topics, doulas also answer any questions that happen to arise with each client. It may be they read an article online and wonder does that happen in Ireland? Or they are told they have a condition (such as gestational diabetes GD) and would like information to help them feel informed and confident on how best to manage it.

Hands on tips and tricks: Doulas are not afraid to get in there and help out. During pregnancy we show our clients different massages, counter pressure and comfort measure to help during labour. We teach these skills to the birth partner so they feel fully involved in the process. On the day of labour often doulas and partners work really well together - tagging in and out (counter pressure can be really tiring after a few hours!) This support continues on into parenting. From showing you how to change and dress a newborn (which is surprisingly tricky at first) to helping you find a comfortable position to feed in - your doula will be right there. 

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. Partners often say things like “I didn’t know what to do to help my wife” or “I felt like a spare tool in a scary unknown setting” but with a Doula supporting them - they have a full tool kit to draw from. They also get encouragement and a helping hand along the way. After they become a Dad/Mam we are still there. Helping them to adjust to their new role and offering guidance on how best to support you.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with two doulas. You have your primary doula and your back up doula. You have the opportunity to meet both. Both doulas will know your birth preferences and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to take a break (such as a long birth, where your doula may need to grab some sleep), you have the option of your back up doula joining you so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

In next weeks blog we will discuss Postpartum Doula support.

Until then… Doula Jen x

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Things are not always as they seem on Social Media!

Things Are not Always as They Seem on Social

Media!

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Things aren’t always as they seem!

Social media like Facebook portrays an image of happiness and beauty. Everyone full of smiles, surrounded by friends and family, women with perfect make up, children looking sweet, even their house looks clean and decorated so beautifully in the background!

I have sat with so many parents who feel inferior and genuinely upset when they compare their life to their Facebook or Instagram friends (some of whom they may never have actually met in real life!) 

Well guess what? No one has a perfect life. Who do you know that told you about their toddler having a massive melt down on the floor of the super market?  It’s happened to us all! Now ask yourself this, have you ever seen them post a photo of said event? The probable answer is of course no. They may even have got through that hiccup in their day and gone on to post a video that evening of their little one singing a sing, full of smiles. This often leaves us all thinking “Look there is Sally’s little girl singing, she is so sweet. Why are my kids such terrors? I can’t even bring them to the shops to get milk and bread without a melt down!”

Social media is where people document their happy moments. It is well thought out before anyone posts a photo. They will find the clean corner of their house, hold the camera to its most flattering angle, nudge their partner to smile or do silly faces to coax a smile from their little ones. It is where we can look back and say “That was a brilliant day” or “Look how much my baby has grown since then!”

I encourage you all to enjoy social media, like Facebook and take inspiration from others. See another twin Mum getting out to a play group? Never thought you could? Maybe that was the photo you needed to see to give it a go ☺ 

Social media is a great way to stay connected to people, get peer support and find out about local resources. Remember to take off the rose tinted glasses and see behind the staged scenes of family photos. Reality is that there was probably shouting or bribery (or both) to get everyone in and smiling. If we capture that moment we can feel proud posting it, banking that moment in time for the future. 

So your life isn’t perfect, your kids are a pain in the backside most of the time, your house is a mess and your partner is a nightmare. Whose isn’t? Feel comfort in knowing we are all in the same boat ☺ Reach out to friends to chat. Go to peer support groups. Have a moan, then have a cup of tea and a biscuit, take a deep breath and enjoy the rest of your day.

Because even if your life isn’t perfect, you will never have this moment again. Your little ones will never be at this stage again. Sometimes the days can feel endless but the weeks disappear so quickly so savour every precious moment and breath through the hard ones.

Doula Jen xx

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