Social Distancing when you have a new baby

SOCIAL DISTANCING DURING THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD

If you have just had a new baby, HUGE congratulations to you and your partner / family! I’m sure you are relieved to finally have your baby in your arms. But what now? In these uncertain times and circumstances we all find ourselves in due to Covid19, we must now keep our distance from the usual people who help us navigate through the early days and weeks of motherhood, notably our own mothers, close relatives, friends and maybe even a Postpartum Doula. 

Although it might all seem a very overwhelming and anxious time, being forced to slow down and stay at home could also be looked at as a favourable thing in the early days and weeks after giving birth. Hopefully, your partner or support person will be able to help out as much as possible with the household chores, perhaps caring for older children but also looking after you so that you can concentrate on recovering after pregnancy and birth and minding your new baby.

I know it’s not the same as in person but you can still reach out to family and friends by phone, Skype, FaceTime, etc and they can still help out by delivering meals or groceries to your front door.

If you are breastfeeding, the latest scientific information encourages mums to keep breastfeeding as it provides your baby with protection against many illnesses.  https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/covid-19?fbclid=IwAR09GhJRhdzdKQJ3KeJSXho2iZtVGYvzy6TSH5oE4vU5Sj7jdxs00PQcdCM

If you are struggling with breastfeeding or didn’t breastfeed during the first few days and would like to start now, contact a Lactation Consultant or a local breastfeeding support group, such as Cuidiu or La Leche League. They would be more than glad to help answer any of your breastfeeding questions or concerns.

Doulacare Ireland Postpartum Doulas offer online support (via video call) if you have any questions about such things as baby comfort measures, infant feeding, postnatal recovery or would like to debrief after labour and birth. DoulaCare Ireland have over 40 doulas to support you so please get in touch if you need to.

Please reach out for help if you are feeling very anxious or low. Organisations such as Nurture Health specialise in pregnancy and postpartum mental health and will do phone counselling support. Depending on your policy, some health insurance companies will cover a number of sessions so make sure to check your policy beforehand. Also if you have the GentleBirth app, there are some postnatal tracks which some mums finds really helpful if they are not feeling well.

There are some good tips in our Fourth Trimester blog also https://www.doulacare.ie/blog/2018/7/25/what-is-the-fourth-trimester

There is also lots of online support available so try to avail of as much of that as possible too:

DoulaCare Ireland: https://www.doulacare.ie/

Breastfeeding Supports:

Association of Lactation Consultants Ireland http://www.alcireland.ie/find-a-consultant/ 

Cuidiu, Irish Childbirth Trust http://www.cuidiu-ict.ie/supports_breastfeeding_counsellors

Le Leche League Ireland https://www.lalecheleagueireland.com/groups/

Friends of Breastfeeding http://www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie/wp/support-2/

National HSE Breastfeeding support https://www2.hse.ie/babies-and-toddlers/breastfeeding/

Postpartum mental health care: https://nurturehealth.ie/

 Remember to keep adhering to HSE guidelines regarding protecting yourself and your family https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/coronavirus/protect-yourself.html, try to get outside for some fresh air during the day, get as much rest as possible and lots of skin to skin contact with your baby will help you bond and keep baby feeling safe and secure in these worrying times. Hopefully over the next few weeks things will get back to some normality and we will all stay safe and well in the meantime. Best wishes to you and your families from all at DoulaCare Ireland 

With thanks to one of our doulas Maura for writing this blog. You can read all about the support Maura offers on this link https://www.doulacare.ie/maura-oshea

The Irish Maternity System - Birth Trauma (Joe Duffy stories)

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DoulaCare Ireland have (like many others in Ireland) been listening to the stories that have been shared by families in Ireland on the Joe Duffy show over the last week. They have made very emotional listening at times. Unfortunately as doulas and childbirth educators we have been privy to similar stories over the years from women who have reached out to us, looking for someone to talk to. To know that women finally have a public platform to share their stories and to truly be heard is one of the positives to come out of the show. 

At DoulaCare Ireland we support clients nationwide, and of course some will have had past birth trauma. These women and their families often feel they cannot speak about their experiences or they will be treated badly on subsequent pregnancies. Those who do speak out often feel they are brushed aside or their trauma is belittled by hospital staff. 

There is very little support within our maternity service for those who have had challenging birth experiences and need someone to talk to. Many of these women often apologise for feeling upset about their experience. After all, they have a healthy baby. Shouldn’t they be OK with how things went? Everyone else seems to think they should be grateful that all is well with baby and move on. But just because you are thrilled to have a healthy baby doesn’t mean you don’t get to grieve for the birth you had hoped to have. It is OK to be upset at how you were treated during your pregnancy and labour. It is such a vulnerable time in a woman’s life and while we may be nervous about the unknown, most of us don’t think that this will be compounded by being spoken to harshly or mistreated by the people we are supposed to trust. 

At DoulaCare Ireland we work closely with other supportive organisations and refer our clients to available services. 

If you have an experience (negative or positive) within the HSE care you can leave your feedback on their site called Your Service Your Say. This information does get reviewed and will be brought to the person in question. 

https://www2.hse.ie/services/your-service-your-say/your-service-your-say.html

We feel it is important to highlight the fantastic work that AIMS Ireland have done since 2007. They are campaigners for safe and respectful maternity care for the women of Ireland and they work tirelessly on a voluntary basis to do so. If you need advice or supports please do contact them on www.aimsireland.ie

We are also proud partners with Nurture Health, who are a national counselling service. They specialise in the care of women and their families during pregnancy and the postnatal period. They have counsellors nationwide who offer space and time to women who have traumatic experiences or have postpartum mood disorders. Irene, the CEO, always ensures their clients are seen quickly and matches them with the best counsellor for their needs www.nurturehealth.ie (and some of your hours may be covered by health insurance - Irish Life Health for example, offer hours with Nurture Health through their Parenting Path packages for new families.)

Some women find it helpful to get their notes from the hospital. They can be requested by writing into the Freedom of Information Officer in the hospital attended, with Name, Date of Birth and any other relevant details. The applicant must mention that they are requesting their notes under the Freedom Of Information Act in order to receive them free of charge. They will write back  with a standard letter saying they will give a response within 28 days, before sending on the notes on. If desired and the Mum feels able to do so they can then request to meet with the Head of Midwifery or with your Obstetrician to have a review of your notes (AIMS Ireland also offer this option). 

Many of the stories shared over the last week have mentioned women being alone and frightened or not understanding what was happening. With DoulaCare Ireland these situations never arise. With our agency model, each client has their chosen doula but also a back up doula. They also have the support of our full team of 35 doulas - all fully Garda Vetted. This means no matter how long a labour and birth lasts (4 day induction for example) our clients will have constant support from a known doula. They also have the knowledge and experience of 35 doulas to tap into at any point. We have women with diverse backgrounds in our team, from women health physiotherapist, midwives, nurses, yoga instructors, antenatal educators and much more. While our role is not to speak for you during labour we are there to help facilitate conversations between client and their health care provider, encouraging the Mum to ask questions if it looks like there is a lack of understanding on their part. 

Doula support is scientifically proven to reduce traumatic experiences and postnatal mood disorders. A Cochrane Review 2017 showed:

Women who had doula support were:

• more likely to have spontaneous birth

• more likely to have shorter labour

• less likely to use pain medication

• less likely to have Caesarean birth

• baby less likely to have low Agpars

• Lower levels of Postpartum Mood Disorders

Women who had doula support had:

• 31% decrease in use of Pitocin

• 28% decrease in Caesarean

• 12% increase in Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery

• 9% decrease in use of pain relief med.

• 14% decrease in baby going to SCBU

• 34% decrease in risk of being dissatisfied after birth

We welcome the discussions on Joe Duffy show and thank the team in RTE for opening up the space for these women to share their story and finally be heard. It is shocking how many women have experienced trauma and remain silent. We hope that women will be able to find their voice, to speak up for their rights and to get the support they deserve. We also hope that those working in the maternity system listen and work to implement change. It must be hard for anyone who works in this area who actively supports and cares for women in kind and compassionate ways to hear these stories, as this is not how they would ever treat anyone in labour themselves. However, the myriad of stories from all over the country show that there is a systemic approach to treating women that needs to be addressed and changed for things to improve. 

Sharing these stories is the first big step. Well done to every single woman/partner/supporter who has spoken out. Your strength will be a part in driving change for all the women and their families who will be entering into the Irish maternity system. 

We are here to support all women and their families. Get in touch if you need compassionate care postnatally to help you recover from a traumatic experience, or if you are embarking on a subsequent pregnancy. Your voice will be heard.

info@doulacare.ie

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So Meghan Markle hired a Doula? What is that? Part 2

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 2.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Postpartum Doula support.

In times past (and indeed today in many cultures around the world) parents were not sent home from hospital with a new baby and expected to know what to do and manage on their own. We would have had the support of families, neighbours, friends - minding us, feeding us, helping us adjust to the changes in our lives and allowing the new Mum to rest and recover from birth and support her during the first few weeks of life with a small baby. Today we are often lacking this support and just expected to cope. People do call in to visit but don’t think to bring a cooked meal for the Mum, let her rest, load the dishwasher or ask how she is doing. The focus is often on the baby and the Mum is just expected to get on with it. However, we are not hardwired to manage in this way. We need the support of others in those first few weeks and months and in lieu of support from our community the postpartum doula can step in and offer this support.

A Postpartum Doula begins work with their client as soon as they book in. For some, this is during pregnancy (the forward planners!) and for others this is after baby is born. If it is during pregnancy, your doula will help you to prepare for your new arrival and the huge shift your life will take. If it is after birth, your doula will slot right in to your new routine (even if you don’t think there is any form of routine) As with Birth Doula support, your Postpartum Doula comes with many layers of support. We help you to debrief and process your birth experience. We nurture you while you recover from birth and find your new normal. We help your older children adjust to having a new dynamic in the family. We support your partner, adjusting to their new role and debriefing their own experiences. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and support every step of the way - as each new day brings new challenges. Above all, we help you to savour the good moments between the chaos :)

Knowledge: Doulas are information junkies. We love reading, attending study days and growing our knowledge base. In DoulaCare Ireland all our Doulas must attend at least three CPD days per year. - which ensures the building of knowledge as evidence changes and new research is undertaken. We also learn from every interaction, with each individual client. We bring that knowledge base to you when you come home with your new baby. No matter what comes up, with your recovery after birth or your babies needs - chances are we have seen it before (or we know who to call if not).

Encouragement: Anyone who has had a baby, knows that surreal feeling of being left in charge of this new tiny human. Many parents feel “they are not seriously letting me home alone with this baby? I don’t even know how to bath him or tell if he is hungry” Don’t fear. It is normal to feel that way. The truth is no parent has the answers. Babies don’t come out with an instruction manual. We all learn on the job! The great thing is, with your Postpartum Doula by your side - you have a calm presence helping you every step of the way. So nothing feels overwhelming. You and your baby learn together, with a helping hand from your Doula.

Information: To new parents this is invaluable. The number one question we get asked… “Is this normal?” Rest assured, your Doula will have all the latest evidence and research at hand to help you make informed decisions when the fog of parenting clouds your brain. It can be hard to process information when you are recovering from birth and haven’t slept more than an hour in 2 weeks. Your Doula will give you the information you need in bite sized chunks so you can fully process it as required. She would also be delighted to tuck you up in bed, with clean sheets, after a hot shower and home cooked meal - and after a nice nap it is easier to think more clearly and have perspective on the changes in your life!

Hands-on tips and tricks: A Postpartum Doula passes on all the parenting tips and tricks they have picked up through their training and working experience. They help you to simplify your daily life. Sometimes it’s a gentle suggestion on where to keep the changing table, that you hadn’t thought of (like having a second one in that corner downstairs to save you running up and down the stairs 20 times a day) Sometimes it is demonstrating different methods of helping baby to get wind up - which can be a tricky skill to master.

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. In parenting, it can be helping them to figure out how to put a baby grow on baby (which way is up? Are these the arms? We all know how hard it can be to get a new baby dressed!) It can be explaining the hormonal rollercoaster women ride after giving birth and to expect highs and lows. It can be a listening ear for them to debrief or to gush about their beautiful new son or daughter. Sometimes it is offering gentle suggestions to help them adjust to their new role and see what part they can play in supporting their partner and adjusting to their own new role.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with the perfect doula for their needs. In the bigger contracts (100+ hours) you will usually have two doulas offering support. You have the opportunity to meet both beforehand. Both doulas will know your parenting style and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to change your scheduled hours you have the option of your second doula covering so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

We know from neuroscience that our brains are not hardwired to manage on our own in those first few weeks of adjusting to life with a new baby. All so often when we arrive at a new Mums house, they disclose that they feel they are doing something wrong as they struggle to cope. So few of us talk about how hard it is, that many are left feeling not good enough. The postpartum doula steps in to fill the gap. We are there to build confidence and make those first few weeks a positive memory for years to come - in other words to help a family thrive and not just survive the early days of parenting

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What is the Fourth Trimester?

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What is The Fourth Trimester?

Imagine what the third trimester of pregnancy would be like for a baby: tightly cocooned in a warm, dark, comforting place. There are no hunger pains or thirst, no need to pass painful wind, no strange smells, no feeling the hot or cold — just a perfect environment tailor made for a baby.

I’m sure you can also imagine suddenly being born into a world with of all these things can be quite a rude shock!

A new baby isn’t born being able to fend for themselves and still has much developing to do – they can’t escape if they sense danger or fear, go and find mum or dad for security or a cuddle, nor can a baby chase mum for a feed whenever hunger or thirst calls… they completely rely on us for every single need.

A gentle adjustment into their new world in the form of a fourth trimester (which is named that way in order to be perceived as an extension of the third trimester) can make a huge difference to how baby feels and how mum and dad cope with parenthood.

Babies cry because it is their only means to alert their parents that they have a need to be met (and they will not stop crying until it is met), which can in turn make parent’s self esteem and confidence plummet if nothing seems to work. This is because they start wondering what they are doing wrong and if they are useless parents (they’re not).

Giving your baby a fourth trimester can make for such a more enjoyable, soothing time for all involved – so how can you give your baby a fourth trimester? Here are some simple ways to recreate womb life.

• Use a sling/wrap

Baby wearing can be a life saver in the early days. Using a sling can recreate several conditions from when baby was in the womb. Feeling tightly supported all over, close to mum’s heartbeat, warm and cosy. Both parents can use a sling to offer comfort to baby and strengthen your bond.

Make sure you choose a safe and suitable baby carrier – www.babywearingireland.ieis a great source of information. You can even get a sling consultant out to your house!

• Skin to skin!

Whether you are breast or formula feeding, skin to skin is a great way to increase bonding with your baby. Skin to skin contact offers the following benefits for your baby at birth (and beyond):

• Regulates his body temperature better even than in an incubator

• Maintains his heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure normal

• Has stable blood sugar

• Feels safe and calm so is less likely to cry

• Receives good bacteria from your body to promote good gut bacteria in baby and boost immune system.

• Is more likely to breastfeed exclusively and breastfeed longer

• Baby is more likely to latch on

• Baby is more likely to latch on well

• Will indicate to his mother when he is ready to feed

• Bath time!

Many babies absolutely love being in a nice warm bath. Some babies may not like a bath at first, as they don’t enjoy the air or cold on their skin as their clothes come off, but they soon grow to love them! If you’re not confident on how to hold a baby in a bath, you can ask your midwife, doula or PHN for a demonstration – or you can just jump in the bath with your baby for added skin to skin benefits. The soothing water surrounding your baby creates an environment similar to what he or she would have been used to in the womb.

Dim any bright lights and jump into that nice warm bath together – even dad can do this one so he can enjoy bonding time with his baby too.

• Bed Sharing or Co-Sleeping

Just like with cot sleeping, there are also safe co-sleeping guidelines. Both sleeping methods have risks if not practiced sensibly. Le Leche League have a 7 step guideline to safe co-sleeping. You can find the information here http://www.llli.org/sweetsleepbook/thesafesleepseven 

By bed sharing or co-sleeping (which includes specially designed cots which attach to the side of your bed, to give baby their own safe space), your baby can sleep in safety knowing that mum is close by. He can smell you and even touch you, without insecurity. Its also a great way to make sure mum gets her much needed rest. 

We’ve all heard the saying ‘sleep when baby sleeps’.

Especially in the fourth trimester, focus only on what you and your baby need – and it’ll make such a difference to how you feel when you’ve had more sleep. Sleep deprivation is one of the leading contributors to anxiety and depression in new mothers, so take care of yourself and enjoy those sleepy cuddles.

• Feed on demand for breast and bottle fed babies.

Offer The Breast If Baby Wants It : Breastfeeding is something your baby will become familiar with very quickly, from the moment she is born. It provides her with a great sense of comfort. She will feed often, especially in the early weeks, as she tries to establish your supply. It is important to follow your baby’s lead to allow her to create a milk supply to meet her individual needs. 

There are lots of places to get support with breastfeeding. (Cuidiu, La Leche League, Friends of Breastfeeding, Postpartum doulas) or the most qualified experts in breastfeeding – IBCLC’s (International Board Certified Lactation Consultants). 

You can find breastfeeding support in the following places:

• Cuidiu www.cuidiu-ict.ie

• Le Leche League www.lalecheleagueireland.com

• Friends of Breastfeeding www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie

• Association of Lactation Consultants in Ireland www.alcireland.ie

• Irish Premature Babies www.irishprematurebabies.com

• Irish Multiple Birth Association www.imba.ie

• Doula Association of Ireland www.doula.ie

• KellyMom www.kellymom.com

If you choose to bottle feed remember your baby has been fed constantly throughout pregnancy. A three or four hour routine can be difficult for a new baby to adjust to. Also it is helpful to remember that a new born tummy is the size of a small marble/malteser and so they thrive on little and often. Paced bottle feeding can ensure your baby takes as much food as they need, without being forced to drink more to ‘finish the bottle’ Trust your baby to take what they need and this will help to avoid lots of spit up and tummy pain.

You can find more information here: http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/bottle-feeding/ 

• Getting Out and About

Once you have recovered from birth it is important to try to get out and about. Every baby is different so trial and error will find the best way for you. Lots of babies love the motion of the car but some do not like the car seat so this can cause you stress. Some babies love the buggy for the ride, others would rather be worn or in a parent’s safe arms. Make a date with a friend to meet for a cupa somewhere or just take a gentle stroll around the block. The fresh air will help to lift your mood and may help baby to sleep.

• Coping With An Attached Baby

You may be reading this thinking it all sounds great, but it seems a little exhausting. Yes, it can be sometimes. But always remember: nothing is permanent, everything is temporary. Even when it feels like it’s going to last forever — it’s not.

Remember ‘This too shall pass’.

Sleep deprivation and discomfort is part of the job of being a parent, but it can be made much easier by:

• Sharing the load where possible – accept and ask for all the help you can

• Make sure your partner spends time settling baby too (he/she needs to learn – and baby will learn how daddy/mammy does it!)

• Seek out a postpartum doula if you can afford it

• Making sure you get a break/time out. Even a trip to the supermarket, coffee shop or 5 minutes in the garden

• Check your expectations. Are you expecting too much from yourself and/or your baby?

Your baby does not behave in these way to manipulate or annoy you, but to teach you what he likes and needs – and what makes him feel most safe and loved. By being open to the lesson and remembering that ‘this too will pass’ (a great mantra when things get a little tough) you’ll be an expert on your baby in no time.

Hang in there – it WILL get easier. Savour the good times & breathe through the tough ones. Take lots of photos ☺

Doula Jen   x

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