COVID19 and doula support

At DoulaCare Ireland we are proud to lead the way with professional industry standards for doula work in Ireland. The COVID19 pandemic is no different. When you hire our doulas to support your family, you can be guaranteed they will be practicing with the highest standards of health and safety. 

We are acutely aware of the pressure parents and parents to be are under. With courses cancelled, clinical check ups spread out and peer groups harder to access, our doulas are here to ease that burden and help you to navigate your way through these uncertain times. 

So what are DoulaCare Ireland doulas doing to protect our clients and help to prevent the spread of the COVID19 virus? 

• We stay up to date with (and follow)  the latest guidelines from the HSE and WHO

• All of our team have attended a COVID19 health and safety training before returning to in person support. 

• All of our team have been trained on correct hand washing procedures 

• All of our team have been trained on correct use of cloth (reusable) and medical face masks

• All of our team have been trained on correct use of PPE (personal protective equipment)

• We fill in a health check form before each client visit (and our clients do the same)

• We wash our hands frequently with soap and water or use an alcohol-based hand rub

• We practice good respiratory hygiene 

• We will maintain social distancing as much as possible, or wear appropriate PPE if social distancing is not possible

• We avoid touching our eyes, nose and mouth 

DoulaCare Ireland has a lengthy COVID19 health and safety policy, which all our team sign up to before returning to in person support. This offers our clients reassurance they they will be supported with the experience, empathy and knowledge of our amazing doulas - in a safe and professional environment. 

All of our doulas with do the following before each in person visit with you:

• Fill in the Health Check Form DoulaCare Ireland has drawn up and ensure they are not ticking yes to any of the “risk” boxes (such as being in contact with a known COVID19 case or having any symptoms themselves)

• If a doula has any risk factors or symptoms they need to inform DoulaCare Ireland immediately and cancel their shift with client. (If supporting a birth client - their back up doula will be informed and will offer support to client instead - another bonus of our agency model). 

• Each doula needs to also check in with client that they have filled in a Health Check form and are not ticking yes to any of “risk” the boxes (if a client ticks yes to any of the boxes the shift cannot be provided).  

• They will also Shower /Wash hair /Brush teeth 

• Change into fresh work clothes and shoes 

• Pack fresh clothes and a pillow case for end of shift 

• Pack fresh PPE (personal protective equipment, such as face mask, visors, hand sanitiser etc)

• Fill in contact tracing form for anyone they have been in contact with up to that point
  

An example of our PPE for shifts: Dedicated work clothes (fresh for each shift), hand sanitiser, face visor, fresh face masks (with a ziplock bag to place used masks into) , gloves, antibacterial wipes, socks or slippers to wear in your home, fresh clothes to change into after shift, COVID19 health check forms and health and safety guidelines

When arriving at clients house and before going into house:

• Where possible, start the shift/visit with a virtual meet with client to see what support they may want 

• Use hand sanitiser 

• Put on PPE 

• Remove outdoor shoes at the door 

• Remove coat at the door 

• Wash hands immediately before touching anything (using HSE hand washing guidelines)
  

As with all our work, our doulas will speak to you about what you feel comfortable with in your home. You are always the guiding light in our care. If you would like to maintain social distancing or if you would like the doula to offer support with feeding or caring for your baby (wearing appropriate PPE). 

Enjoy a well deserved rest, safe in the knowledge our professional doulas will take care of everything for you

We tailor our services to each individual families needs. Offering bespoke care and support. You can have open discussions with our agency owners before booking in your doula support. This allows you the opportunity to ask any questions you may have to ensure you are 100% comfortable with your package. 

We also have a wide range of virtual supports available

Our courses and sessions are all LIVE (nothing is prerecorded). We tailor our sessions to your individual needs. Choice of group sessions or private 1:1 sessions. All at a time that suits you, in the comfort of your own home

We have trained and certified antenatal educators for many courses including:

*Full Antenatal Ireland Course

*GentleBirth Course

*HypnoBirthing Course

*Breastfeeding Preporation Course

*Parenting Courses

*VBAC Courses

*Baby Care Consultation 

*Birth Preferences Consultation

*Comfort Measures for labour and Birth Consultation

*Expressing/Pumping Support Consultation

*Birth Trauma Support Consultation 

*Virtual Early Labour Support

*Virtual Early Parenting Support

and much more….

With our virtual support you choose the times that works best for your family. With bespoke packages and courses available

So if you would like to know more about our in person or virtual supports, from fertility to the first year of parenting, get in touch and we would be delighted to get you on the road to a positive and empowered experience with DoulaCare Ireland.

Email info@doulacare.ie

This is Not Homeschooling! Tips and Resources for getting through COVID-19 with children

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

So the government here in Ireland recently announced that schools will not be returning until the end of the summer. And parents, already overwhelmed, are now faced with the prospect of having to figure out how to provide school at home to their children for the next few weeks. Many feel like they are failing at homeschooling and wondering what they are doing wrong.

Well I just want to say for those parents - this is NOT homeschooling. We homeschool so I feel I can say that! I am seeing lots of posts about people struggling at homeschooling and have loads of friends message me to say how do I do it!!!! Well this is not homeschooling!

Homeschooling involves trips to the park, to the library, swimming pool, playgrounds. It involves kids hanging out with their friends and doing activities. It involves the kids going on play dates so I get some quiet and headspace - or their friends coming here so they are kept occupied so I can get work done!

It involves making a well thought out and researched decision to either not send your kids to school or pull them out of school. It's a choice!!!!! Whereas for most people right now this has been something they have to do because the schools are closed - that is a totally different scenario. There are no places to go to run them ragged and keep the kids occupied, or friends to have over so you can have some chill time.

I don't envy anyone forced into this situation - especially if they also trying to combine it with working from home! Like for example, we have tonnes of resources here because we have always homeschooled - so I have spent years building up resources that I know my kids like. We also use the library a huge amount (and there is a special card available to people homeschooling which lets us take out way more books than the usual amount, and hold onto them for a few months - so I always have a full stock of resources here from the library. They are dwindling down now and the library is not back until June. But we will manage I think!). Whereas I can imagine in some houses that isn't the case - because this isn't the norm! And this wasn’t expected. In a classroom situation a teacher might have 30 children, but they are all of the same age and following the same content. Whereas right now families are juggling 2 or 3 wildly different sets of curricula. Or having to try to entertain their only child who is struggling without friends around them.

My heart goes out to everyone in this situation - I know how hard I find it at times and I have chosen it!

Some tips for people trying to manage at home with children right now.

Firstly I wouldn't try to force anything. They are missing their friends and being out in the world (well mine are anyway and I can imagine for school going kids that is multiplied by 10). Even my introverted, homebird 14 year old is missing being out and about, they are missing their cousins and seeing family and friends.

Secondly - kids are ALWAYS learning so it’s OK to take your foot off the accelerator and slow down the pace in your house for now. Think about how they learned how to walk or talk - did you have to give them lessons in this? Usually that would be a no. If they are interested they will learn. Look at what their passions are and ask on social media groups for ideas for links to videos/resources online that they might be able to use (you will usually get great suggestions).

Thirdly for everyone out there struggling right now, my advice would be - take the least stressful path for you. If you have time sit down and watch TV with them - or do some gaming with them (even if you are crap lol!!). There is lots of educational TV that can keep them interested - Horrible Histories, The Wild Kratts, Octonauts, Carmen SanDiego and The Who Was Show all offer interesting information as well as keeping them occupied (and these can be nice to watch with them) - and are all on Netflix UK at the moment. Avatar: The Last Airbender (the cartoon version NOT the film!) is one to sit and watch with them - it is so beautiful and the story line is just amazing.

Play a board game with them (or set them up to play a game together). There are some fab games out there where they can have fun and learn as well - Sleeping Queens and Rat-A-Tat Cat from GameWright Games which involve Maths or Alphabet Lotto from Orchard Toys (who have a fantastic range of educational games that are fun as well). Apples to Apples is a much loved one in our house and encourages creative thinking and debate - and helps children to frame and develop arguments.

History Bombs and Extra History on YouTube have great fun videos that both mine love, as do The Kids Should See This and Ted Ed. There are also great podcasts out there for kids that they might enjoy such as Brains On! and Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls

If you have a garden, get them to plant seeds - they usually enjoy it. Have them cook food for you or do some baking (these are all ways to learn - if you want them to do some Math while doing this - double the quantity needed!).

Finally - if you are worried about your child falling behind, research from children who missed school after the Earthquakes in New Zealand in 2011 found they did not fall behind. Results actually went up in final exams! Similar outcomes were found after Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans in 2005 - where children missed up to 7 weeks of school.

I hope that helps somewhat. If you are trying to juggle work, it's OK if they are watching more screen than usual, I would hope people have understanding employers, but the reality is not everyone will! And bills need to be paid. So do what you have to do to get through this. There is enough going on without adding to the stress - big hugs to you all xxx

Unplugged: Mindfulness and Stress Management in unusual times.

Unplugged: Mindfulness and Stress Management in unusual times.

One week into isolation and already ‘zoomed out’, ‘apped out’ and technology overloaded? 

Turn off, tune in and de-stress the natural way, accepting that we can’t control what’s happening ‘out there’ but we can, with practice, manage what’s happening ‘in here’ in our thoughts, feelings and home environments.

Some tips to thrive in an uncertain world.

1. Don’t minimise feelings  

Allow yourself to feel your feelings, these are difficult times. Your plans and hopes and dreams have radically changed. Its natural to feel grief and loss. Feel fully, grieve fully and move back to the present moment where you can make new choices based on new circumstances 

2. Don’t catastrophize

The crux of mindfulness is to be vigilant against mind wandering and catastrophizing. Write down your fears when they come up, put them in a box and visit them once a day. Make plans for the ones you can control, burn or bin the others.

3. Minimise overwhelm. 

Too much to do and think about? Pick 4 tasks and focus on them until they are done and then pick 4 more. Include rest as a vital task. If this is still overwhelming pick one task at a time.

4. Celebrate. 

Realise how much control you do have! Over your thinking, your schedule, your playlist, your nutrition. Be vigilant for YOU and celebrate your achievements.

6. Breathe 

Conscious breathing turns on the parasympathetic nervous system and helps the body and mind relax. Try a ‘square breath’, Inhale to the count of 4, hold to the count of 4, exhale to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4

7. Move

Within the limits of your body’s condition and flexibility. Dance, stretch, shake.

8. Hum

Humming activities the vagus nerve and promotes healing and relaxation. Breathe in through your nose and hum on the exhale. Do this for one minute and notice the difference.

9. Sing

Singing instantly focusses you in the present moment with the bonus of supporting deep breathing and soothing vibrations in the body.

10. Rest 

Even if sleep is difficult, rest the body, lie down for five minutes of conscious breathing or visualise yourself relaxing in nature. 

11. Unplug 

The science is out there, screen time and electromagnetic energy fields hamper sleep and immune systems. Use a timer to shut down the Wi-Fi at sleep time. Turn your phone off for set periods.

12. Touch

Hugs are amazing for the release of happy hormones. If you are alone hug yourself or gently stroke your forearms to release oxytocin.

13. Smile

Right now, as you read this, smile. Even if you don’t feel it, your brain won’t know the difference, it will think you are happy and release those happy hormones! 

You can do this

You can also watch Lindas tips in this YouTube video https://youtu.be/oHqgmZ1Zo8M 

Thank you to our team member Linda for putting this blog together. You can read more about Linda and the support she offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/linda-oflaherty

10 Things To Do With Toddlers While #staythefuckhome

With the current covid-19 crisis and the related social distancing, many of us find ourselves at home with our toddlers, thrown out of our usual routine and into the deep end of parenting without the option to visit zoos, playgrounds or swimming pools. While it can seem daunting at first, this can actually be a great time to really tune into your child and make some great memories as a family. In the years to come, our smallies will most likely not remember any details about the virus, but about what happened in our homes during this time – so let’s give it a whirl!

10 Things To Do With Toddlers While #staythefuckhome

1.       Find a show you all enjoy

While being stuck at home, many of us allow the kids a bit more screen time than usual (just pay attention to your child’s cues – some get easily overwhelmed with too much screen time), but you don’t have to endure hours and hours of the typical children’s shows (unless you really enjoy it). Try to find a program (preferably with loads of episodes) you all enjoy! My 3 year old loves The Great British Bake Off, Junior Bake Off or The Secret Life of The Zoo. Nature documentaries like Blue Planet can be fun and educational for the whole family and may help you keep your sanity a little longer.

2.       Get baking

If you usually don’t have the time to bake with your kids, now is your chance. Recipes range from total beginner to master chef and you can find them all with a simple Google search. Don’t rush through it – take your time (after all – we have loads of it right now) and let your little ones help as much as they like – even though it gets messy. Enjoy the experience and the memories you’re making, even if the result looks a little wonky in the end. 

3.       Give a concert

Do you have an aspiring rockstar at home (or are one yourself)? Why not play a concert in your living room (or if you’re brave put on a show for the neighbourhood in your front garden or your balcony!). Whether you’re playing an actual instrument, shake some homemade rattles (another good project to do!), rock a classic pots-and-pans drumkit or an air guitar – put on a great show with your kids and sing and dance your hearts out. They’ll remember it for the rest of their lives!

4.       Build a fort

I’m sure most of us can remember building forts and dens in our childhood. The excitement of crawling into your own little space, your magnificent fort, safe from dragons and all the worries in the world… Why not help your little ones build a fort indoors (blankets, pillows, chairs…) or in your garden (branches, leaves, tarps,…)? This will probably give you hours (if not days) of plat time together and at the end of the day, you can all curl up together in your den and read some bedtime stories.

5.       Attempt a long term project

Now might be the right time to start a long(er) term project with your toddler. Always wanted to grow your own veg? Get your kids involved in sowing the seeds, watering, observing, transplanting…  Had you planned to build a tree house but never gotten around to it? Do it now and let them help! Take a few minutes to sit down and think if there’s any projects you had meant to do with your kids but never did because the time wasn’t right or it would “take too long”. Now is the time to do them!

6.       Get Messy

I know, I know – as parents one of the things we do all the time is cleaning up messes. Mostly  messes we didn’t make. And most of us don’t particularly enjoy this part of parenting. But once in a while it can actually be fun to let the kids get messy (I discovered this when my 3 year old helped herself to 2kg of plain flour the other day….). Instead of worrying about the clean up, enjoy the fun and silliness of getting your hands dirty, splash water through the whole bathroom, play with flour, make a huge mud pit in the garden or do a massive action painting! 

7.       Move!

With playgrounds closed and outside activities limited to uncrowded places, it’s important to incorporate some movement into our new routine and make sure we all run off some energy at some point (cabin fever sets in quickly!). There are some fantastic exercise videos for kids (or families) online, but you don’t have to rely on technology to move. Make up fun movement games, create your own HIIT workout in which every family member chooses one exercise to add to your routine, do a silly dance party, play catch in the garden, see who can jump the longest (or highest or furthest)! 

8.       Do something you always wanted to do

Is there anything YOU always wanted to do? Not necessarily for your kids, but for yourself? Learn a new skill? A new craft? A new language? Why not try and start it, even though your kids might distract you? I’m one of those people who always want to do things “properly” and take my time and concentrate on the task at hand, but that often means I don’t get to do those things until my child is asleep (and I’m knackered). So why not try and casually do bits here and there? I found I’m able to read a new book much quicker if I read a few pages throughout the day when my toddler allows, rather than plucking up the energy to do it in the evening. You may be surprised – your children may actually join in on your activity and it might become a new family project!

9.       Learn a language

Is there a language you or your child is curious about? Do you have anyone in your family or amongst your friends who speaks another language? You could use this time of social distancing to actually connect with someone and learn a few words and sentences of them. Kids usually have a great memory and can remember easy words or phrases quickly, so it could become a fun activity of skyping a friend for a few minutes every day and learning a new word or learning a nursery rhyme in a foreign language. 

10.   Write your own book

Make up your own story with your kids and write it down! Let the kids decide what happens, let them illustrate the pages and keep it as a wonderful memory of a time spent together as a family.

We’re all in this together. Let’s make the most of it.

With thanks to one of our doulas Lisa for putting this list together. You can read more about the support Lisa offers on this link https://www.doulacare.ie/lisatierney

Moved over:What is all that white stuff on my newborn? (Vernix)

What is all that white yucky stuff on my baby?! 

The vernix caseosa is a greasy, cheese-like coating that covers babies’ skin during their time in the womb. It may not look pretty but the vernix actually serves an important function: It protects your new baby's skin from getting pickled by amniotic fluid in utero. (you know when you're in the bath too long?)

Vernix usually develops around 19 weeks into pregnancy and continues to thicken until around week 34. By week 40, the vernix is mostly gone.

Babies born earlier tend to have more vernix than those born later. Babies born a few weeks before their due date might still be well coated. Babies born at term may only have a little bit of vernix left in the folds of their skin or under their nails. Babies born after their due date might not have any vernix left at all. Occasionally their skin might be wrinkled or peeling as a result, but don’t worry — it’s temporary! (remember the being in a bath too long reference?)

The vernix caseosa helps form a barrier between your baby’s skin and the surrounding amniotic fluid. Its main role is to protect and hydrate

It does have other benefits too:

🤰During pregnancy: The vernix can help to nourish developing gut bacteria (as your baby swallows some in utero) 

❤️During labour: Vernix’s greasy, oily texture could serve as a natural lubricant as your baby makes their way down the birth canal.

👶After birth: Vernix can continue to protect your baby’s skin by helping it retain moisture and stave off bacterial infections as they adjust to our outside world

🤱Breastfeeding: Vernix help babies latch on too. The smell of vernix and amniotic fluid triggers neural connections in babies’ brain needed for breastfeeding. 

🧕For Mother: Vernix contains compounds thought to promote perineal wound healing, so it may aid in recovery for vaginal births. 

So try to resist the urge of washing or rubbing it off. Rub it into baby! Evidence shows delaying your baby's first bath can help with bonding, breastfeeding and protection. WHO (World Health Organisation) recommends leaving the vernix on your baby for at least six hours, and preferably 24 hours after birth. As for an upper limit? There’s no official recommendation. Many parents wait days.

Did your baby have much vernix at birth?

Moved over to main website blog: Obstetric Cholestasis

Obstetric cholestasis

It has a number of names : Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy (ICP), obstetric cholestasis, cholestasis of pregnancy, jaundice of pregnancy, and prurigo gravidarum.

What is it?

Obstetric cholestasis is a disorder that affects your liver during pregnancy. The main symptom is itching on the palm of your hands or soles of your feet. Another symptom is persistent itching of the skin (anywhere on the body) when there is no skin rash.

How common is it?

Takes from the RCOG : Obstetric cholestasis is uncommon. In the UK, it affects about 7 in 1000 women (less than 1%). Obstetric cholestasis is more common among women of Indian- Asian or Pakistani-Asian origin, with 15 in 1000 women (1.5%) affected.

Iching is a really common part of pregnancy, caused by the stretching of skin as your body accommodates your growing baby/babies. However, it can be one of the warning signs of cholestasis. It is important to flag any concerns with your care provider (midwife or obstetrician). They can preform a simple blood test to rule out any concerns of cholestasis. 

So what happens if you are diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis? 

Once diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis, you will be advised to be under the care of a consultant and have your baby in hospital with a neonatal unit (NICU). 

There is no cure for obstetric cholestasis but all symptoms generally disappear once your baby is born.

Most women will then have additional antenatal checks. This will include regular liver function tests, until you have had your baby. You will also be offered additional monitoring of your baby. Often this will involve extra ultrasound scans checking growth and measuring the amount of fluid around your baby.

When you are in labour, you will be offered continuous monitoring of your baby’s heart rate. There is some evidence that it is safer to birth your baby early if your symptoms are severe. You will have an opportunity to discuss the option of having labour induced after 37 weeks. 

Early induction (before term, 37 weeks) may carry an increased chance of having interventions such as assisted birth (forceps etc) or having a caesarean birth. It also carries an increased chance of your baby being admitted to the special care baby unit (SCBU) with complications of preterm birth. Your care provider or obstetrician will discuss what they feel is best for you and your baby in your individual situation so that you can make an informed choice.

Remember to take time to ask lots of questions. It can be helpful to have a notebook and pen ready to take notes as in unexpected situations it can be hard to take in all the medical information you are being told. 

Take time to weigh up all the pros and cons and understand each step before making your informed decision. 

Our doulas are an amazing support through this process - walking the journey with you - offering emotional and physical support. If you would like more information on how we can best support you pop us an email on info@doulacare.ie 

Moved over to main website blog:Why I donated my placenta to search dogs

Why I donated my placenta to search and rescue dogs

What happens to your placenta after you give birth? Well women in Ireland have a number of options

1. Let the hospital dispose of it

2. Bring it home and plant a tree over it in your garden

3. Get it encapsulated or consume it raw (in a smoothie)

4. Pop it in your freezer to keep

5. Donate it to search and rescue dogs

On both of my sons births I never put much thought into what happened to my placentas. I don’t remember seeing them or being asked. They simply were mentioned and then disappeared. 

So with my last pregnancy I put thought into what I would do with my placenta this time. I didn’t want to just dump my placenta. It had been this amazing source of life to my daughter for 9 months. My body had created this perfectly tailored organ to help my baby grow. It provided oxygen and nutrients to my baby and removed waste products from my baby blood. I am fascinated by placentas, can you tell? LOL 

I contemplated a nice cherry blossom tree in the garden to symbolise my daughters birth. I did think it would be lovely.

For me personally, I did not want to consume my placenta. Being a doula and antenatal educator everything I present to my clients is evidence based. I spend a huge amount of time researching topics relevant to pregnancy, birth and early parenting.  With placenta consumption (either via capsules or raw) there is no concrete evidence. There are lots of antidotal findings, both for and against but until there is a scientific study done I was not willing to take the risk. 

So for me I felt it was fitting for my placenta to be useful and to go to a good cause. I donated my placenta to Irish Search Dogs.They use the placenta tissue to train their dogs in finding human remains. While this is a heart breaking situation - my hope is that by donating my placenta, it is helping a family to find a loved one and to lay them to rest. 

My husband is a Garda and we both know only too well the horrible situations many families find themselves in. When a loved one dies, giving that family closure can mean so much. Irish Search Dogs give this to those whose loved ones are missing. It is an unbelievable service provided. While this is not a situation people like to think about much, it is invaluable to many many families nationwide. 

When I decided to donate my placenta I spoke with the chairman Glen who was absolutely lovely. He was so kind and understanding and made the process so easy. He put zero pressure on me and simply said if I decided to go ahead and remembered on the day that would be brilliant. My husband brought my placenta home from the hospital and popped it into our freezer (in the bag the hospital had provided) I then contacted Irish Search Dogs and they even had one of their volunteers collect it from my home! Making it totally hassle free!

So if you are unsure what you would like to do with your placenta, please do consider donating it. During your pregnancy it was a gift of life and afterwards it can continue to give so much to families by helping to train these amazing dogs!

If you would like to learn more about Irish Search Dogs their website is

 http://irishsearchdogs.com/About.html

Glens email is glen@irishsearchdogs.com (A total gentleman)

Jen x

On our children birthdays

On the anniversary of your babies birth 

Every year as the days approach my children birthdays, I find myself reliving where I was and what I was doing the year they were born. Particularly the 24 hours just before. My eldest boy is twelve. If anything, as the years pass these days seem even more special. Reliving their births and remembering how wonderful it was to be pregnant with them, adds a sentimental value to their birthday beyond celebrating their life so far. 

I wake up the day before thinking ‘This day twelve years ago, I woke up for the last time before I would be changed forever and become a mother.’ I had no idea the impact the next 24 hours would have on me or how my life would change forever - my soul tied to another - who shared my body and grew from love.

How did the years move so quickly? Twelve years of mothering. Buying a house. Studying. Working. Taking trips. Having more babies. First days of school. Ferrying kids to a from sports and activities. Family meals. Endless loads of laundry. Play dates. Baby groups. Parent teacher meetings. School events. More laundry. 

I look at the clock randomly and think : ‘11am, this time twelve years ago I was just getting on the DART with my cup of tea to go in for my 41 week hospital check.. Rubbing my big bump. Feeling my baby kick. Wondering what he will look like’

I look at my beautiful boy and wonder again where the years have gone. He is almost as tall as me now. Yet I can still feel his tiny newborn body snuggled up to me. How it felt to kiss his soft cheeks. That gorgeous baby smell as I sniffed his tiny head with wisps of hair. The absolute joy I felt breastfeeding him. That glorious bond of mother and baby, in our own little bubble of calm. 

‘3pm, I was making my way to that cafe for a smoothie. I was feeling uncomfortable. Little did I know, I was in early labour and a few hours later I would be heading back to the hospital to give birth.’ 

I still get hugs. Sometimes (once his friends are not around) Kisses are restricted to a peck on the cheek. The hormones are running through his body. Bouncing him from my boy to a young man. Regular melt downs. Slamming of doors. Change is happening. 

‘11pm, in the car on the way into hospital. Excited to meet my baby but fearful of what was to come’

My seven year old comes bouncing in and kisses his baby sister. Before I know it, he will be at this stage. No longer jumping on me for big sloppy kisses and a massive squeeze of a hug. Enjoy this time now I remind myself. The days seem endless sometimes, but the years seem to fly by in a flash. 

‘8.08am, my world shifts a gear forever. I am someones mama. This perfect, tiny, human is mine. Image of his dad of course. Surrounded by love. Filling my heart to bursting point’

Me with my first son seth in 2007 (at the tender age of twenty)

As we all sit around the kitchen table singing happy birthday. My handsome boy blushes. He is embarrassed by the fuss now. I am grateful for the memories. Some hard. Some challenging for sure. Overall as I remember my experiences of motherhood, I am filled with love. It is not always perfect. Nothing is, right? But I wouldn’t change any of it. My children are my world and I love celebrating each journey into motherhood, with each individual experience - once a year. 

So to all the mothers out there on your Childs birthday. Happy Birth Day memories to you too. Your strength, love and power got you through and will continue to do so as the years fly by. Take a moment to remember. Maybe every now and then you can pause and relive your experience too.

My first born son Seth, about to embark on the teen years. Photo credit @JohannaKingPhotography

A Wonderful Partnership with Irish Life Health

Did you know DoulaCare Ireland have an exclusive partnership with Irish Life Health? 

At DoulaCare Ireland we offer true continuity of care and our focus is supporting families as they transition into parenthood. This is not always an easy journey, but it is one that can be fulfilling beyond words. We support women and their partners throughout pregnancy. We offer continuous support during labour and birth (home and hospital birth).  We will wipe your brow when hot, keep you calm and focused. We support your partner to feel in control offering them tips and tricks too. We stay by your side, after birth. We go to your home. We nurture you as you find your new normal We cook home cooked meals, catch up on laundry, keep the house running so as new parents our clients can slow down and enjoy those early days. We offer evidence based information. We are an independent support person, without the same emotional attachment a family member can have - meaning unbiased care. We pass on years of knowledge around pregnancy, birth and parenting. Helping our clients to make informed decisions about their care and that of their baby/babies.

We don’t want our clients to. drift through their pregnancy, unsure of their options and frightened of their birth.

We don’t want our clients to muddle through in a sleep deprived fog in those early weeks of parenting.

We want them to feel supported, heard and validated.

We want them to feel cared for, safe and confident.

We ensure our clients thrive in every aspect of this journey, not just survive! 

We chose to partner with Irish Life Health for their forward thinking and family centred plans. They have a huge focus on well being (physical, emotional and mental) which we felt sits with our own ethos. What makes Irish Life Health different to other insurers is that their support doesn’t end when you leave hospital. They know that becoming a parent is a life-changing journey that goes far beyond your hospital stay. Their benefits are there to support you emotionally and physically every step of the way.

Irish Life Health can help you access the support you need for whatever stage you’re at on your parenting journey. They have created an incredible Maternity and Parenting Path package. With DoulaCare Ireland you can now claim up to €200 off Birth Doula support plus up to 18 hours Postpartum Doula support in your home to set you up for success!* 

This is all available exclusively with DoulaCare Ireland. Irish Life Health only work with our Doula Agency.  Why choose Doulacare Ireland above an independent doula? 

Because DoulaCare Ireland are a professional national doula agency. 

• Our doulas are the only doulas in the country that are Garda vetted for their role. 

• All of our doulas carry insurance. 

• All of our doulas are trained by a reputable organisation. 

• All of our doulas attend a minimum of 3 CPD days per year.

• All of our doulas have access to mentorship & counselling sessions if required.

• All of our doulas have opportunity to debrief.

• All of our doulas sign up to a code of ethics.

• All of our doulas know their scope and practice within this at all times.

• All of our doulas are passionate and caring. 

• Mary and Jen are two of the most experienced doulas in their fields and bring that knowledge and support to our doulas and to our clients.

Our Doulacare Ireland national team

But there is more! Irish Life Health are offering their members support in many areas to ensure they have a positive parenting experience. You may be entitled to healthy meals delivered to your door with Gourmet Fuel. A midwife visit in your home. Access to the GentleBirth App https://www.gentlebirth.com A beautiful food hamper. Some home cleaning hours. Access to mental health supports with Nurture Health, another of our working partnerships. They are a nationwide counselling service specialising in the care of parents from fertility issues, conception, and pregnancy right through to postpartum and parenting. You can find out more on their website https://nurturehealth.ie/about-us/ You could have access to a Dietician or Nutritionist Consultation. You could have some Acupuncture sessions or take yoga or pilates classes and so much more!

We are delighted to be a part of this amazing care. We feel parents in Ireland are under so much pressure to get it all right when pregnant, partners are expected to know how to support a Mum during labour (without ever having been near a labour room before). We are expected to just  ‘bounce back’ to ‘normal life’ after having a baby. The big secret no one tells you is you will have to adjust to a new normal. This can take some time. With all of the outlines supports, parents can do this without feeling like they are losing control. Every pregnancy is unique. Every birth experience is unique. Everyone parents in their own way to meet the needs of their unique baby. Babies do not pop out with a manual. New parents have to find what works, one day at a time. Our doulas will be right there, offering encouragement and support every step of the way. 

Any questions?

Please give `Irish Life Health Customer Care team a call on 1890 714 444 or email heretohelp@irishlifehealth.ie to check your plan and see what you may be entitled to!

You can read more about some of these fantastic benefits here

https://www.irishlifehealth.ie/the-parenting-path/redeeming-maternity-benefits

https://www.irishlifehealth.ie/the-parenting-path/the-big-day

For direct enquiries about our benefits with Irish Life Health pop us an email irishlife.health@doulacare.ie or

info@doulacare.ie for general enquiries

*Each policy plan is unique so you can check with their customer care team if your policy is covered or you can make amendments to ensure it is included

Mothering a baby who has Down Syndrome

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My name is Gillian Phelan. I was invited by Doulacare Ireland to talk a little bit about my daughter Elliah who was born with Down Syndrome and my experience with all that comes with it, and also what we are doing to help her develop at as normal a rate as possible.

Firstly a little back story... Elliah is my first child, born thanks to IVF (after many failed attempts and surgeries) in October 2018. I had an excellent pregnancy up to 34 weeks when my placenta rather suddenly shut down leading to a real emergency c-section. A movie-worthy dramatic scene. But that’s a story for another time.

Baby had to be taken to Special Care because she was small (4lbs), but breathing on her own and otherwise doing pretty well. As soon as I saw her I said to myself that her eyes looked ‘Down Syndromey’... Tests went off and we waited and waited and waited... Every day the consultants were hopeful that the results would be back “tomorrow”, or “ by the end of the week”. There really was a doubt in our minds. Some of our nurses said they didn’t think she had it. Others were less sure. Her eyes were literally the only tell tale - she didn’t have any of the other signs on the checklist. It took 17 days for the diagnosis to come back from Crumlin - 10 minutes up the road from The Coombe where we were. It was confirmed that Elliah has Trisomy 21 - which means that she has a third copy of her 21st chromosome. Nobody knows why it happens, but in 1 out of 800 births it just does.

So we were told what is to be expected of our daughter, and quite honestly, from the get-go it seemed very limited. We were being told not to expect much. That there isn’t much hope that she be independent or have a fulfilling life in the usual sense. Well, I absolutely reject that. Their limitations, not ours. Putting a child in a box labeled ‘limited’ will only encourage them to be just that. This is not acceptable for me. Additional needs or not, each child develops at a different rate, and faces their own individual challenges.

Needless to say, once the initial settling in period had passed, we looked into alternative therapies to help ‘wake up’ her senses so to speak. Basically we were interested in anything that would help bridge the gap between herself and other babies of the same age. Our goal will always be that she be as close as possible to doing the things that her peers are doing. Whether that be sitting up unassisted, crawling, walking, talking and all those other key achievements down the line. We are linked up with St Michaels House in Ballymun now and everyone is great. They do a fantastic job, they really do. But relying on that one Physio or Speech therapist visit a month and going one morning a week to the pool just isn’t enough. Physical and mental development go hand in hand, and we have now found a set of daily stimulation exercises that work for us and are giving good results.

We travelled to France to meet with an ex Montessori teacher who has a 5 year old daughter with DS. She has become an alternative consultant on all things DS, and sees families to build a personalised program for their children. Her daughters name is Marie, and she is quite exceptional. Her speech and motor skills are pretty much those of an average child of her age. She is at the same level as all her friends and attending mainstream school without a Special Needs Assistant. Emmanuelle started out with her solid Montessori background and has done extensive research and training to complement that. She saw Elliah over 2 days and gave us a program to follow based on her particular strengths and weaknesses.

We were highly recommended to read Glenn Domans (horribly entitled) book ‘How smart is your baby?’ Domans research stretched over 40 years and he worked with thousands of children and their families - for the most part the babies and children in his studies had brain damage, not DS. Specific exercises and hyper-stimulation techniques are used to override the problem and wake up the affected senses. Now I’m not going to lie, some of this stuff is totally counter intuitive for the mother of a small baby, but his results really do speak for themselves. So after reading the book, and seeing Emmanuelle in France, we had a specially adapted exercise and stimulation plan for our baby.

We have built her a crawling ramp to encourage as much movement on her tummy as possible. Children with DS tend to have issues with their muscle tone, so strengthening those all important neck and back muscles is vital.

We also had to ditch the traditional play mat which was not at all adapted to her needs. It has been replaced with a large gym mat - exactly like the ones we used to have in school (the navy blue yokes).

We also have a Dayvia light which is on constantly during her sessions. The very bright light is recommended for sensory stimulation of course, but also for helping with the distinction between day and night. Not to mention luminotherapy in our dark winter months.

The last ‘big’ thing we invested in after reading the research is an electromagnetic machine called an Earth Pulse. Designed to help athletes and Racehorses recuperate better, it emits a field adapted to the individuals needs so their rest is optimised and thus their performance enhanced. During their testing process they realised that all of the people partaking in the trial who had thyroid issues gradually stopped needing to take their medication. This is a key factor in DS. Our expert in France insists that ALL children with Down Syndrome have an issue with their thyroid. Even if a blood test says it’s functioning, ie producing satisfactory levels of thyroxin, there are no further tests done to check if that thyroxin is doing its job as it should in the cells. It really is one of those things where you believe it or you don’t. We thought that we have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain. It’s been a few weeks now and Elliah is definitely more alert, more interested in her surroundings, more of a sparkle in her eye. She’s even sitting up in her highchair which is a big milestone and around the same time as an averagely developing baby.

Emmanuelle has been using the machine under Maries bed for a couple of years now and she insists that she started to see a difference in her capacities after a few weeks. Since we seem to have a similar timeline, I’m certainly inclined to agree.

It’s a lot. It’s very time consuming. But seeing Elliah improve every day is all the motivation I need

(I’ll have a shower when she’s 2 🤪) I’m also exclusively pumping which doesn’t help time-wise, but that’s my choice. It’s not a chore though. Elliah is not a burden. We feel as much love, and pride as any other parents. DS comes with the innate capacity to truly be oneself. To find joy in the simplest of things and to love without conditions or judgement. She is funny and sassy and an absolute ray of sunshine. I simply cannot imagine life without her smile.

Hopefully we are putting in place a foundation that will help our daughter be her best self and have more choices in her future. We will at least know that we gave it everything we had.

Well done if you’ve gotten to the end of this post 😂

What we wouldn’t do for our kids.

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A response to Barbara Ellen’s “Meghan Markle’s home birth should not blind us to the risks for most women” published on The Guardian, 13th April 2019.

A response to Barbara Ellen’s “Meghan Markle’s home birth should not blind us to the risks for most women” published on The Guardian, 13th April 2019.

I am deeply disappointed in The Guardian for publishing Barbara Ellen’s ill-informed, fear-mongering article on the dangers of Meghan Markle’s decision for a home birth in influencing us, common plebeian women, who couldn’t possibly have a safe home birth without the royal treatment she will receive.

Based on research and reliable medical evidence, the World Health Organization (WHO) states “It has never been scientifically proven that the hospital is a safer place than the home for a woman who has had an uncomplicated pregnancy to have her baby.” No evidence that the hospital is safer for uncomplicated, low-risk pregnancies. You can also find, on the NHS website, information regarding revised guidelines issued by NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) which “recommended that women with low risk of complications in childbirth should be encouraged to either give birth at home or at a midwife-led unit.” The HSE, here in Ireland, also states that “research shows that a planned home birth is an acceptable and safe alternative to a planned hospital birth,” again, for healthy women with uncomplicated pregnancies. The HSE itself offers a homebirth scheme as one of its maternity care options, as does the NHS.

I could stop here. But I won’t.

I’m offended personally by the assumption that we, common women, wouldn’t carefully plan a home birth, or any kind of birth for that matter, as we have learned to do so from horrific hospital experiences. Anyone who has been listening to Joe Duffy lately would know all about that.

Among the inaccurate information contained in the article, I’d like to clarify a few:

• Homebirths are not attended by one midwife, but two. That’s how it works under HSE guidelines. Besides, with a midwife, at home, you get continuity of care, which hospitals fail to provide due to the way they are structured. This continuous care, provided by one person who you have come to know and trust, is associated with shorter labors and lower rates of intervention; hence the ever-growing popularity of birth doulas (in all birth settings; hospital, birth center, home, etc).

• When women who are giving birth at home need to transfer to the hospital, they don’t get there by “any means possible”; they use an ambulance service which has already been notified of the start of their labor and has coordinates to their home.

• The article mentions the “risks to most women”, which is also untrue as high-risk complications occur in less than 15% of all pregnancies, as stated by UC San Francisco Health.

Furthermore, if Barbara knew anything about the physiology of childbirth (because yes, newsflash: it’s a physiological process, not necessarily a “serious, bloody business”, as she hauntingly states), she would understand that in fact “splashing about in a birthing pool […] surrounded by Jo Malone candles […] and Enya on Spotify” makes an enormous difference to the progress of labor and can be the crucial difference between a straight-forward, uncomplicated delivery and a cesarean.

Our Co-owner Mary Tighe seen supporting her doula client during a home birth

That is because the physiology of childbirth is dependent on intricate, sophisticated hormonal dynamics. The driver’s seat is taken by oxytocin. They give you a synthetic version of said hormone in the hospital to start or augment labor. They also give it to you to facilitate the delivery of the placenta and to prevent hemorrhage. Oxytocin also aids in bonding with baby and the start of breastfeeding, both of which the synthetic version can’t do, by the way. But how is oxytocin brought about naturally then? Well, it’s the hormone of love and intimacy. So it’s raised through touch, massage, kissing, being in a safe, quiet, intimate place, with dimmed lights and privacy, with freedom to move around, have some water, eat something if you so wish; with no strangers walking in and out, asking a million questions, poking and probing at you. And for some people that might very well be a warm tub of water or shower, surrounded by candles, with Enya on Spotify. Delivering a baby is much more like making a baby than we seem to want to recognize. So, the answer is: whatever floats your boat, as long as it’s a safe option for you. Feel safer in a hospital? Then by all means, have a hospital birth! Have a complication that may require medical attention? Again, the hospital is probably a safer option for you. But this commonplace, ignorant discourse demonizing something you obviously know very little about is unacceptable. As a woman, I find that adding even more fear to this process, which can be a beautifully empowering one, is unacceptable. It’s like bullying women, more than they already are in this “serious, bloody business”.

There are various, researched techniques, or methods, that can attest to the efficacy of supporting this hormonal interplay, as they usually translate into calmer, quicker labors, with less unnecessary intervention (which means less risks for mother and baby), and better memories to cherish forever, because you will. forever. remember. that day. They are the likes of Lamaze, HypnoBirthing, and Ireland’s very own GentleBirth techniques, devising an informed birth plan, or hiring a birth companion, such as a doula, all of which work to empower and support the laboring woman and her baby, her feelings and desires, and in turn, this miraculous hormonal process.

You might wonder how you may benefit from having a doula, a hired birth companion, at a home birth, like Meghan is said to be doing. Doula support might indeed look a bit differently at home, because they can focus on you and your partner completely, and not have to deal with the hospital environment. They arrive before your midwife and are by your side the entire time. It gets to a point sometimes where midwives actually need to rest, to make sure they are well able to identify your medical needs, while a doula, in quite a different mindset, will still stand by you. Additionally, should you transfer to the hospital, they will accompany you and provide invaluable continuity of care. 

General areas in which doulas focus their support include: emotional and psychological preparation, guidance, and ease; physical comfort, positioning, and nurturing touch; supporting you in your confidence, decision-making, learning, gathering information and understanding your preferences. Although doulas and midwives both value those components as part of a satisfying birth, doulas get to focus on them entirely, while midwives are tending to clinical tasks. So together, at home, they are a wonderfully powerful team.

Of all the fashionable trends out there, I think this would be an absolutely lovely one to get informed about—and yes, if it’s a suitable option for you and your specific circumstances, maybe even follow.

Anita Petry

Birth and Postpartum Doula with DoulaCare Ireland

Member of the Doula Association of Ireland

Originally from Brazil, Anita now lives in Dublin with her husband David.

Have you heard of Naming Ceremony?

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A Naming Ceremony is a celebration of family and life. This is a great way to bring your family and friends together. The Ceremony is written in conjunction with the parents and a Celebrant to create a personalised and meaningful occasion. It usually includes bestowing a name on your child and declarations of promises and commitments from the parents and guide parents and other important people in the child’s life.

Naming Ceremonies can be held in the home or at a venue of your choosing but not in a Church. They are also not officiated by a Priest but by a Celebrant. Although a Naming Ceremony is secular in its origin, it is entirely the personal choice of the parents as to whether any religious content, from any faith, is included. Having contact with your Celebrant is the best approach as you can use their experience to make the ceremony exactly how you have envisaged it. The Ceremony can be either relaxed or formal. You have total freedom to create a memorable experience for your family and loved ones.

Some parents like their other children in the ceremony. Their siblings can choose to write and say a reading or poem, or perhaps make their own commitments. They may want to make a promise to help look after their new sibling. As a family you may like to light unity candles or have a sand blending ceremony, the action of doing something like this as a family can be significant in bringing you all together.  

In the ceremony you can incorporate readings, poetry and music. The most important part is choosing the aspects that are special to you and your family.  Parents will declare their hopes and wishes for their child’s future and will share this experience with family and friends.  

Naming Ceremonies will include the bestowing of a name - this is where the child is named, perhaps giving the reasons for choosing that name, maybe it was an ancestral name or perhaps had an interesting history. This marks the very first time that a child is introduced to their community using their new given name

 Guide parents are chosen to make commitments to support and guide the child as they grow and they will make themselves available should the child ever need them for advice, care, guidance or help, this is similar to the role of God Parents.  Promises may be made by Guide parents, they can either answer questions asked by the celebrant during the ceremony, or they can prepare their own promises to your child - in doing this their role becomes even more personal to them. You will be surrounding your child with loving role models to nurture them and have a positive impact on their life. 

The duration of a Ceremony will depend on how many Ceremony enhancements, readings/poems you include, a Naming Ceremony usually last around 25-30 minutes

Some parents like to personalise the ceremony to include symbolic elements such as the lighting of unity candles, a sand blending ceremony, hand and foot prints as a keepsake or the planting of a tree (if the ceremony is being held in your home).

Naming ceremonies are not legally binding and do not have any legal status, although you may be presented with a record of the ceremony as a token of the day.

Naming ceremonies can also be tailored to welcome adoptive children and step-children into a new, extended family or relationship.

My name is Carol Colman and I am an accredited Celebrant with the Irish Institute of Celebrants. I am based in Dublin and I also cover surrounding counties.  I can be contacted through my website www.loveisallyouneed.ie ,on Facebook Carol Colman Family Celebrant or by email at carolcolman57@gmail.com.  I as a Celebrant will offer home consultation, alternatively you can choose to have contact through online platforms such as Skype, WhatsApp or other video call software, but if it’s possible, I would recommend meeting  person – but as a parent myself I fully understand how precious your time is with a new arrival or toddler.   

Throughout the process, I will discuss the options to personalise the ceremony and will get to know you so I can tailor a ceremony to suit your family needs.

I am an expert in creating bespoke celebrations that people love. I can help you by guiding you through what can be involved in the ceremony and also giving some ideas you may not yet have considered.

My Special Offer to anyone who quotes DoulaCare in their contact email to me is that they will receive their Ceremony for €200 (Usual price €250)

Here is some inspiration for things you may want to include:

• A book can be available at the celebration which guests are asked to sign or write a message and good wishes for the future for the child and the family.

• Guests could be asked to bring something small for the child, such as a letter or a flower, which is collected at the start of the ceremony.

• The celebrant can ask if any guests would like to say anything about the child after the ceremony.

• A video can be made with guests saying a message for your child at some point in the future.

• Creating a naming certificate with the details of the day and name which can be kept after the day for the child.

• Planting a tree either as part of the ceremony or after at your home. This can symbolise growing as family.

• A Sand Blending ritual can be a nice addition if there are other children in the family

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So Meghan Markle hired a Doula? What is that? Part 2

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 2.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Postpartum Doula support.

In times past (and indeed today in many cultures around the world) parents were not sent home from hospital with a new baby and expected to know what to do and manage on their own. We would have had the support of families, neighbours, friends - minding us, feeding us, helping us adjust to the changes in our lives and allowing the new Mum to rest and recover from birth and support her during the first few weeks of life with a small baby. Today we are often lacking this support and just expected to cope. People do call in to visit but don’t think to bring a cooked meal for the Mum, let her rest, load the dishwasher or ask how she is doing. The focus is often on the baby and the Mum is just expected to get on with it. However, we are not hardwired to manage in this way. We need the support of others in those first few weeks and months and in lieu of support from our community the postpartum doula can step in and offer this support.

A Postpartum Doula begins work with their client as soon as they book in. For some, this is during pregnancy (the forward planners!) and for others this is after baby is born. If it is during pregnancy, your doula will help you to prepare for your new arrival and the huge shift your life will take. If it is after birth, your doula will slot right in to your new routine (even if you don’t think there is any form of routine) As with Birth Doula support, your Postpartum Doula comes with many layers of support. We help you to debrief and process your birth experience. We nurture you while you recover from birth and find your new normal. We help your older children adjust to having a new dynamic in the family. We support your partner, adjusting to their new role and debriefing their own experiences. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and support every step of the way - as each new day brings new challenges. Above all, we help you to savour the good moments between the chaos :)

Knowledge: Doulas are information junkies. We love reading, attending study days and growing our knowledge base. In DoulaCare Ireland all our Doulas must attend at least three CPD days per year. - which ensures the building of knowledge as evidence changes and new research is undertaken. We also learn from every interaction, with each individual client. We bring that knowledge base to you when you come home with your new baby. No matter what comes up, with your recovery after birth or your babies needs - chances are we have seen it before (or we know who to call if not).

Encouragement: Anyone who has had a baby, knows that surreal feeling of being left in charge of this new tiny human. Many parents feel “they are not seriously letting me home alone with this baby? I don’t even know how to bath him or tell if he is hungry” Don’t fear. It is normal to feel that way. The truth is no parent has the answers. Babies don’t come out with an instruction manual. We all learn on the job! The great thing is, with your Postpartum Doula by your side - you have a calm presence helping you every step of the way. So nothing feels overwhelming. You and your baby learn together, with a helping hand from your Doula.

Information: To new parents this is invaluable. The number one question we get asked… “Is this normal?” Rest assured, your Doula will have all the latest evidence and research at hand to help you make informed decisions when the fog of parenting clouds your brain. It can be hard to process information when you are recovering from birth and haven’t slept more than an hour in 2 weeks. Your Doula will give you the information you need in bite sized chunks so you can fully process it as required. She would also be delighted to tuck you up in bed, with clean sheets, after a hot shower and home cooked meal - and after a nice nap it is easier to think more clearly and have perspective on the changes in your life!

Hands-on tips and tricks: A Postpartum Doula passes on all the parenting tips and tricks they have picked up through their training and working experience. They help you to simplify your daily life. Sometimes it’s a gentle suggestion on where to keep the changing table, that you hadn’t thought of (like having a second one in that corner downstairs to save you running up and down the stairs 20 times a day) Sometimes it is demonstrating different methods of helping baby to get wind up - which can be a tricky skill to master.

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. In parenting, it can be helping them to figure out how to put a baby grow on baby (which way is up? Are these the arms? We all know how hard it can be to get a new baby dressed!) It can be explaining the hormonal rollercoaster women ride after giving birth and to expect highs and lows. It can be a listening ear for them to debrief or to gush about their beautiful new son or daughter. Sometimes it is offering gentle suggestions to help them adjust to their new role and see what part they can play in supporting their partner and adjusting to their own new role.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with the perfect doula for their needs. In the bigger contracts (100+ hours) you will usually have two doulas offering support. You have the opportunity to meet both beforehand. Both doulas will know your parenting style and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to change your scheduled hours you have the option of your second doula covering so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

We know from neuroscience that our brains are not hardwired to manage on our own in those first few weeks of adjusting to life with a new baby. All so often when we arrive at a new Mums house, they disclose that they feel they are doing something wrong as they struggle to cope. So few of us talk about how hard it is, that many are left feeling not good enough. The postpartum doula steps in to fill the gap. We are there to build confidence and make those first few weeks a positive memory for years to come - in other words to help a family thrive and not just survive the early days of parenting

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Meghan Markle has hired a doula, what is that? Part 1

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 1.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Birth Doula support. 

A Birth Doula begins work with their client during pregnancy. Supporting them throughout pregnancy, labour and birth. We don’t clock out at 8pm. We are there by our clients side every step of the way. Offering continuity of care throughout pregnancy, labour, birth and postpartum. We then visit our clients at home, offering support with all those early parenting questions.. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and hands on tips and tricks of the trade. 

Knowledge: We help our clients to understand their chosen place of birth (most commonly a hospital) policies.We compare the different hospitals policies, statistics and what the National Clinical Guidelines say. We also chat about International Guidelines and help our clients to make informed decisions about their care. We also cover the physical process of labour and birth and common things that come up. We can assist our clients to create their birth preferences for their unique journey. After baby arrives we share all the latest evidence on infant care, recovery after birth and anything else you’re wondering about too!

Encouragement: We build up our clients. A huge part of our role is to help our clients (the birthing mother and her partner) to feel confident. We are like their coach or cheerleader from the sidelines, reminding them of all the skills they have gained throughout their pregnancy and the strength they have within. This does not stop once baby arrives. We build you up again after birth and remind you of that strength and knowledge.

Information: Apart from the mentioned topics, doulas also answer any questions that happen to arise with each client. It may be they read an article online and wonder does that happen in Ireland? Or they are told they have a condition (such as gestational diabetes GD) and would like information to help them feel informed and confident on how best to manage it.

Hands on tips and tricks: Doulas are not afraid to get in there and help out. During pregnancy we show our clients different massages, counter pressure and comfort measure to help during labour. We teach these skills to the birth partner so they feel fully involved in the process. On the day of labour often doulas and partners work really well together - tagging in and out (counter pressure can be really tiring after a few hours!) This support continues on into parenting. From showing you how to change and dress a newborn (which is surprisingly tricky at first) to helping you find a comfortable position to feed in - your doula will be right there. 

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. Partners often say things like “I didn’t know what to do to help my wife” or “I felt like a spare tool in a scary unknown setting” but with a Doula supporting them - they have a full tool kit to draw from. They also get encouragement and a helping hand along the way. After they become a Dad/Mam we are still there. Helping them to adjust to their new role and offering guidance on how best to support you.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with two doulas. You have your primary doula and your back up doula. You have the opportunity to meet both. Both doulas will know your birth preferences and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to take a break (such as a long birth, where your doula may need to grab some sleep), you have the option of your back up doula joining you so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

In next weeks blog we will discuss Postpartum Doula support.

Until then… Doula Jen x

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Postnatal Depression, when love doesn’t come as a thunderbolt.

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Postnatal Depression, when love doesn’t come as a thunderbolt.

I was 21, and diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), on a hot June day, in the consultants room, in a Cork hospital. One minute I was worrying about my parent's car being clamped, and the next minute I was being told,  if I was ever going to have kids, do it now in my early 20s. He closed the folder and stood up, as I sank into the chair. Fast forward to 23, going out with my husband, and about four weeks into the relationship, the clock now ticking so loudly, I sit him down and tell him. In September 2011, my daughter was born. Five years after my PCOS diagnosis. A greyness descended, initial happiness replaced with fears, thoughts, overwhelming feelings. My brain telling me that I’m not good enough for her. My husband was beaming, but my heart was breaking, because, after five years of hoping, wishing, endless sticks to wee on, I didn’t get that thunderbolt. I was in shock. 

I stayed in the hospital for four days, because I didn’t want to go home until I felt ‘right’ . That thunderbolt didn’t come. Over the following days and weeks, I lied to friends and family who were enamoured by her. I was staying awake all night, afraid, and dreading the moment she would need me again. Would she be better with someone else as her mammy? I envied my husband's love for her. I envied how happy he was. I loved her, but felt that I wasn’t enough for her. What if she didn’t like me? Friends kept telling me how lucky we were to have a happy, healthy baby. I didn’t feel lucky, I felt guilty, ashamed that I wasn’t enjoying the baby I had longed for. I was lucky to find a breastfeeding support group,  that allowed me to cry, talk openly, and not be judged. It became my lifeline. I found Kathy Kendall-Tackett's book, The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood, and it was eye opening, and reassuring. Dr Andrew Mayers from Bournemouth University, has done some interesting research about partners developing postpartum depression too.

I had heard some myths about PND , and medication, and I had fears about asking for help. What if they take her off me? What if, what if, what if? I became numb, and comfortable in my numbness. I hit rock bottom in 2016, when my neighbour passed away suddenly. A few days later, at my doctor's for something else, I broke down. He gave me some options, and I chose a referral for counselling. It was amazing. A weight lifted. The shame and guilt could be put down. I could breathe. 

I now work as a postpartum Doula, with Doula Care Ireland. One client described me as “a wonderful calm presence amidst the chaos" .I am not a health care professional. I am not there to tell you what to do. I give you the information,  and allow you to make an informed choice that works for you and your family. There is no one magic cure for PND, but , with calm, clear, informative support you can begin your journey out of the greyness. I am continuously working on being the best version of myself, and it is a continuous process. Sometimes I see glimpses of how I felt, in my clients, and it reminds me that the process of being mentally well, is something we need to keep working on.

Written by one of our doulas Dee Burke. You can fins out more about Dee and the support she offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/dee-burke-1/

If you or someone you know is suffering with a postpartum mood disorder these resources may help

https://www.nurturecharity.org

http://www.pnd.ie

https://www.cuidiu.ie/httpwwwcuidiucomsupports_parenthood_postnatal

https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mentalhealth/mother-and-infant-health/#Finally,%20support%20services%20for%20those%20with%20Poatnatal%20Depression

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Moved over to main website blog:Adjusting to life with a toddler and a newborn

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Adjusting to life in the early days and weeks.

It is important to acknowledge that it will be hard at times, but it won't be impossible. It is all an adjustment but the love you will feel will make everything worthwhile. Of course as your Postpartum Doula I will assist you with adjustment and daily tasks. Here are my top tips on how to set yourself up for success and make each day easier.

• Cook extra portions of freezer friendly meals (like bolognaise/shepherds pie/fish bake etc) while you are pregnant or if baby is here then at the weekends so you've a good supply of nutritious food to see your family through week ahead. This is also something family and friends could do to help out.

• Shop online for now if a grocery shop seems unimaginable. 

• Buy preprepared fruit and veg as handy snacks to grab on the go.

• Don't be too proud to accept offers of help and don't be afraid to suggest chores (unload the dishwasher, hoover the stairs, clean the bathroom etc)

• Lower your expectations of how the house will look during the first few months. You've got a lot on your plate, and it doesn't really matter if the dusting doesn't get done or you have to wear un-ironed clothes for a few days, or years even.

• As soon as you can, try to get out for at least a short walk every day it's amazing what a boost it is to get out of doors. If that seems too epic right now, sit in the garden and play with your toddler.

• Take all offers of taking your toddler out for a while (once your toddler is happy of course!) Granny wants to take her out to the playground? Great, don’t feel guilty and try to go too - grab a nap with baby while you can :)

• Make your toddler aware from the very start that the baby is interested in her, is watching her and loves her. Say things like, "She's following your game with her eyes" and "She's very interested in what you're doing".

• Involve your toddler in games with the baby from the earliest days, and always tell your toddler how much you value her help with tasks such as handing you a nappy for the baby.

• Have a ‘special feeding box’ Fill the box with little toys and books, colours or activities for your toddler. This box only comes out while you are feeding the baby and is your toddlers special treat.

• Babywear. Using a sling gives you the ability to meet your newborns needs (to be warm, safe and close to you) while still playing, reading with or just spending quality time with your toddler. I would recommend attending a sling meet or get a sling consultant to your home to find the right sling for you.

• Take photos, because while the days seem endless right now, the weeks and months will fly past and you will appreciate the memories ☺

• Be gentle with yourself. No one is perfect. This is all learning on the job, take each day as it comes and remember you are doing your best and that is all anyone can do!

Enjoy the madness! Doula Jen x

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Things are not always as they seem on Social Media!

Things Are not Always as They Seem on Social

Media!

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Things aren’t always as they seem!

Social media like Facebook portrays an image of happiness and beauty. Everyone full of smiles, surrounded by friends and family, women with perfect make up, children looking sweet, even their house looks clean and decorated so beautifully in the background!

I have sat with so many parents who feel inferior and genuinely upset when they compare their life to their Facebook or Instagram friends (some of whom they may never have actually met in real life!) 

Well guess what? No one has a perfect life. Who do you know that told you about their toddler having a massive melt down on the floor of the super market?  It’s happened to us all! Now ask yourself this, have you ever seen them post a photo of said event? The probable answer is of course no. They may even have got through that hiccup in their day and gone on to post a video that evening of their little one singing a sing, full of smiles. This often leaves us all thinking “Look there is Sally’s little girl singing, she is so sweet. Why are my kids such terrors? I can’t even bring them to the shops to get milk and bread without a melt down!”

Social media is where people document their happy moments. It is well thought out before anyone posts a photo. They will find the clean corner of their house, hold the camera to its most flattering angle, nudge their partner to smile or do silly faces to coax a smile from their little ones. It is where we can look back and say “That was a brilliant day” or “Look how much my baby has grown since then!”

I encourage you all to enjoy social media, like Facebook and take inspiration from others. See another twin Mum getting out to a play group? Never thought you could? Maybe that was the photo you needed to see to give it a go ☺ 

Social media is a great way to stay connected to people, get peer support and find out about local resources. Remember to take off the rose tinted glasses and see behind the staged scenes of family photos. Reality is that there was probably shouting or bribery (or both) to get everyone in and smiling. If we capture that moment we can feel proud posting it, banking that moment in time for the future. 

So your life isn’t perfect, your kids are a pain in the backside most of the time, your house is a mess and your partner is a nightmare. Whose isn’t? Feel comfort in knowing we are all in the same boat ☺ Reach out to friends to chat. Go to peer support groups. Have a moan, then have a cup of tea and a biscuit, take a deep breath and enjoy the rest of your day.

Because even if your life isn’t perfect, you will never have this moment again. Your little ones will never be at this stage again. Sometimes the days can feel endless but the weeks disappear so quickly so savour every precious moment and breath through the hard ones.

Doula Jen xx

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Expressing Love

A Poem for all Pumping Mothers.

Hmmmm hmmmm goes the pump through the night,

Reminding myself it will all be alright.

The chafing and blisters won't last,

Counting each drop as they fall becomes a thing of the past,

Watching my baby sleep soundly,

The sound of the pump rings out all around me.

Hmmmm hmmmm goes the pump through the night,

Reminding myself it will all be alright.

I'm giving my baby every drop that I can,

Even though things are not quite how I planned.

I'm pouring my love into every single drop,

Telling myself "keep going, don't stop"

Hmmmm hmmmm goes the pump through the night,

Reminding myself it will all be alright,

Skin to skin, and slings,

Are our new bonding things.

As I nourish her tummy,

With my tailor made milk (that's so yummy!)

As drops turn to sprays,

And hours into days,

As mls turn to ounces,

And days into weeks,

The lowest moments fade and we experience more peaks.

Hmmmm hmmmm goes the pump through the night,

Reminding myself it will all be alright,

The grief begins to pass,

As we find our own way.

The pumping becomes part of life

As we grow day by day.

A poem by Jen Crawford. Exclusively pumping for her daughter Kayla who was born with a complete cleft palette and Pierre Robin Sequence.

What is the Fourth Trimester?

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What is The Fourth Trimester?

Imagine what the third trimester of pregnancy would be like for a baby: tightly cocooned in a warm, dark, comforting place. There are no hunger pains or thirst, no need to pass painful wind, no strange smells, no feeling the hot or cold — just a perfect environment tailor made for a baby.

I’m sure you can also imagine suddenly being born into a world with of all these things can be quite a rude shock!

A new baby isn’t born being able to fend for themselves and still has much developing to do – they can’t escape if they sense danger or fear, go and find mum or dad for security or a cuddle, nor can a baby chase mum for a feed whenever hunger or thirst calls… they completely rely on us for every single need.

A gentle adjustment into their new world in the form of a fourth trimester (which is named that way in order to be perceived as an extension of the third trimester) can make a huge difference to how baby feels and how mum and dad cope with parenthood.

Babies cry because it is their only means to alert their parents that they have a need to be met (and they will not stop crying until it is met), which can in turn make parent’s self esteem and confidence plummet if nothing seems to work. This is because they start wondering what they are doing wrong and if they are useless parents (they’re not).

Giving your baby a fourth trimester can make for such a more enjoyable, soothing time for all involved – so how can you give your baby a fourth trimester? Here are some simple ways to recreate womb life.

• Use a sling/wrap

Baby wearing can be a life saver in the early days. Using a sling can recreate several conditions from when baby was in the womb. Feeling tightly supported all over, close to mum’s heartbeat, warm and cosy. Both parents can use a sling to offer comfort to baby and strengthen your bond.

Make sure you choose a safe and suitable baby carrier – www.babywearingireland.ieis a great source of information. You can even get a sling consultant out to your house!

• Skin to skin!

Whether you are breast or formula feeding, skin to skin is a great way to increase bonding with your baby. Skin to skin contact offers the following benefits for your baby at birth (and beyond):

• Regulates his body temperature better even than in an incubator

• Maintains his heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure normal

• Has stable blood sugar

• Feels safe and calm so is less likely to cry

• Receives good bacteria from your body to promote good gut bacteria in baby and boost immune system.

• Is more likely to breastfeed exclusively and breastfeed longer

• Baby is more likely to latch on

• Baby is more likely to latch on well

• Will indicate to his mother when he is ready to feed

• Bath time!

Many babies absolutely love being in a nice warm bath. Some babies may not like a bath at first, as they don’t enjoy the air or cold on their skin as their clothes come off, but they soon grow to love them! If you’re not confident on how to hold a baby in a bath, you can ask your midwife, doula or PHN for a demonstration – or you can just jump in the bath with your baby for added skin to skin benefits. The soothing water surrounding your baby creates an environment similar to what he or she would have been used to in the womb.

Dim any bright lights and jump into that nice warm bath together – even dad can do this one so he can enjoy bonding time with his baby too.

• Bed Sharing or Co-Sleeping

Just like with cot sleeping, there are also safe co-sleeping guidelines. Both sleeping methods have risks if not practiced sensibly. Le Leche League have a 7 step guideline to safe co-sleeping. You can find the information here http://www.llli.org/sweetsleepbook/thesafesleepseven 

By bed sharing or co-sleeping (which includes specially designed cots which attach to the side of your bed, to give baby their own safe space), your baby can sleep in safety knowing that mum is close by. He can smell you and even touch you, without insecurity. Its also a great way to make sure mum gets her much needed rest. 

We’ve all heard the saying ‘sleep when baby sleeps’.

Especially in the fourth trimester, focus only on what you and your baby need – and it’ll make such a difference to how you feel when you’ve had more sleep. Sleep deprivation is one of the leading contributors to anxiety and depression in new mothers, so take care of yourself and enjoy those sleepy cuddles.

• Feed on demand for breast and bottle fed babies.

Offer The Breast If Baby Wants It : Breastfeeding is something your baby will become familiar with very quickly, from the moment she is born. It provides her with a great sense of comfort. She will feed often, especially in the early weeks, as she tries to establish your supply. It is important to follow your baby’s lead to allow her to create a milk supply to meet her individual needs. 

There are lots of places to get support with breastfeeding. (Cuidiu, La Leche League, Friends of Breastfeeding, Postpartum doulas) or the most qualified experts in breastfeeding – IBCLC’s (International Board Certified Lactation Consultants). 

You can find breastfeeding support in the following places:

• Cuidiu www.cuidiu-ict.ie

• Le Leche League www.lalecheleagueireland.com

• Friends of Breastfeeding www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie

• Association of Lactation Consultants in Ireland www.alcireland.ie

• Irish Premature Babies www.irishprematurebabies.com

• Irish Multiple Birth Association www.imba.ie

• Doula Association of Ireland www.doula.ie

• KellyMom www.kellymom.com

If you choose to bottle feed remember your baby has been fed constantly throughout pregnancy. A three or four hour routine can be difficult for a new baby to adjust to. Also it is helpful to remember that a new born tummy is the size of a small marble/malteser and so they thrive on little and often. Paced bottle feeding can ensure your baby takes as much food as they need, without being forced to drink more to ‘finish the bottle’ Trust your baby to take what they need and this will help to avoid lots of spit up and tummy pain.

You can find more information here: http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/feeding-tools/bottle-feeding/ 

• Getting Out and About

Once you have recovered from birth it is important to try to get out and about. Every baby is different so trial and error will find the best way for you. Lots of babies love the motion of the car but some do not like the car seat so this can cause you stress. Some babies love the buggy for the ride, others would rather be worn or in a parent’s safe arms. Make a date with a friend to meet for a cupa somewhere or just take a gentle stroll around the block. The fresh air will help to lift your mood and may help baby to sleep.

• Coping With An Attached Baby

You may be reading this thinking it all sounds great, but it seems a little exhausting. Yes, it can be sometimes. But always remember: nothing is permanent, everything is temporary. Even when it feels like it’s going to last forever — it’s not.

Remember ‘This too shall pass’.

Sleep deprivation and discomfort is part of the job of being a parent, but it can be made much easier by:

• Sharing the load where possible – accept and ask for all the help you can

• Make sure your partner spends time settling baby too (he/she needs to learn – and baby will learn how daddy/mammy does it!)

• Seek out a postpartum doula if you can afford it

• Making sure you get a break/time out. Even a trip to the supermarket, coffee shop or 5 minutes in the garden

• Check your expectations. Are you expecting too much from yourself and/or your baby?

Your baby does not behave in these way to manipulate or annoy you, but to teach you what he likes and needs – and what makes him feel most safe and loved. By being open to the lesson and remembering that ‘this too will pass’ (a great mantra when things get a little tough) you’ll be an expert on your baby in no time.

Hang in there – it WILL get easier. Savour the good times & breathe through the tough ones. Take lots of photos ☺

Doula Jen   x

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