DoulaCare Training and Certification, your credible Irish Organisation

DoulaCare Training and Certification

DoulaCare Ireland are delighted to announce our brand new certification process. We are launching the first opportunity for doulas in Ireland to certify with a credible Irish organisation. 

DoulaCare Ireland are a national doula agency. We have raised the professional standards of doula work in Ireland since or creation in 2016. We were the first ever doulas in Ireland to apply and receive Garda Vetting, now many doulas across the country are following our lead. We also ensure every doula who works with us is fully insured for each aspect of their doula work - again many other doulas are following suit. We have had tremendous demand for training courses and certification with us. We are thrilled to say, your calls have been answered and we have put together a comprehensive process to help you further your doula career. 

Why should doulas working in Ireland consider certifying with DoulaCare Ireland?

• It builds your Professional Credibility - knowing your practise meets professional standards

• It expands your Knowledge & Skills 

• Helps you identify gaps in your knowledge and target improvements in your practise

• You will Gain a Competitive Advantage. Having training that your competitors do not can set you apart

• Demonstrates your commitment to the profession

• Certification acts as a badge of excellence

• Helps you build your business 

• Ensures you keep up to date with industry standards & changing information (recertification) 

• Often, experience is strong in some areas, but not in others - so you ensure you round out your experience

• Increases your confidence

• Ensures you continue to learn and grow (recertification/CPD Requirements)  

Our DoulaCare team offers knowledge, encouragement & support as you grow your doula career

Email events@doulacare.ie to request our certification booklet, full of information about the process and why choosing DoulaCare as your certifying organisation is the right step for your business.

Cross Certification 

If you have already taken a Doula training and would like to certify with DoulaCare Ireland you have the following options

• Attend our training for a discounted rate

• You do not have to attend our training but must provide paper work from your previous training. You will have access to our online support network and will also be eligible to join 3 group video calls (these are group calls to ask questions, debrief, share skills and navigate your way to success)
  
  Doulas who are registered and working with DoulaCare Ireland Agency receive a 20% discount on all event fees. 

***You do not need to join DoulaCare Ireland Doula Agency in order to certify with DoulaCare or be a member (you can work as an independent doula with our agreed level of mentorship and support). Certifying with us does not guarantee you a position in our agency. We have a strict application process and unfortunately we can only choose those who are the right fit for our team***

COVID19 and doula support

At DoulaCare Ireland we are proud to lead the way with professional industry standards for doula work in Ireland. The COVID19 pandemic is no different. When you hire our doulas to support your family, you can be guaranteed they will be practicing with the highest standards of health and safety. 

We are acutely aware of the pressure parents and parents to be are under. With courses cancelled, clinical check ups spread out and peer groups harder to access, our doulas are here to ease that burden and help you to navigate your way through these uncertain times. 

So what are DoulaCare Ireland doulas doing to protect our clients and help to prevent the spread of the COVID19 virus? 

• We stay up to date with (and follow)  the latest guidelines from the HSE and WHO

• All of our team have attended a COVID19 health and safety training before returning to in person support. 

• All of our team have been trained on correct hand washing procedures 

• All of our team have been trained on correct use of cloth (reusable) and medical face masks

• All of our team have been trained on correct use of PPE (personal protective equipment)

• We fill in a health check form before each client visit (and our clients do the same)

• We wash our hands frequently with soap and water or use an alcohol-based hand rub

• We practice good respiratory hygiene 

• We will maintain social distancing as much as possible, or wear appropriate PPE if social distancing is not possible

• We avoid touching our eyes, nose and mouth 

DoulaCare Ireland has a lengthy COVID19 health and safety policy, which all our team sign up to before returning to in person support. This offers our clients reassurance they they will be supported with the experience, empathy and knowledge of our amazing doulas - in a safe and professional environment. 

All of our doulas with do the following before each in person visit with you:

• Fill in the Health Check Form DoulaCare Ireland has drawn up and ensure they are not ticking yes to any of the “risk” boxes (such as being in contact with a known COVID19 case or having any symptoms themselves)

• If a doula has any risk factors or symptoms they need to inform DoulaCare Ireland immediately and cancel their shift with client. (If supporting a birth client - their back up doula will be informed and will offer support to client instead - another bonus of our agency model). 

• Each doula needs to also check in with client that they have filled in a Health Check form and are not ticking yes to any of “risk” the boxes (if a client ticks yes to any of the boxes the shift cannot be provided).  

• They will also Shower /Wash hair /Brush teeth 

• Change into fresh work clothes and shoes 

• Pack fresh clothes and a pillow case for end of shift 

• Pack fresh PPE (personal protective equipment, such as face mask, visors, hand sanitiser etc)

• Fill in contact tracing form for anyone they have been in contact with up to that point
  

An example of our PPE for shifts: Dedicated work clothes (fresh for each shift), hand sanitiser, face visor, fresh face masks (with a ziplock bag to place used masks into) , gloves, antibacterial wipes, socks or slippers to wear in your home, fresh clothes to change into after shift, COVID19 health check forms and health and safety guidelines

When arriving at clients house and before going into house:

• Where possible, start the shift/visit with a virtual meet with client to see what support they may want 

• Use hand sanitiser 

• Put on PPE 

• Remove outdoor shoes at the door 

• Remove coat at the door 

• Wash hands immediately before touching anything (using HSE hand washing guidelines)
  

As with all our work, our doulas will speak to you about what you feel comfortable with in your home. You are always the guiding light in our care. If you would like to maintain social distancing or if you would like the doula to offer support with feeding or caring for your baby (wearing appropriate PPE). 

Enjoy a well deserved rest, safe in the knowledge our professional doulas will take care of everything for you

We tailor our services to each individual families needs. Offering bespoke care and support. You can have open discussions with our agency owners before booking in your doula support. This allows you the opportunity to ask any questions you may have to ensure you are 100% comfortable with your package. 

We also have a wide range of virtual supports available

Our courses and sessions are all LIVE (nothing is prerecorded). We tailor our sessions to your individual needs. Choice of group sessions or private 1:1 sessions. All at a time that suits you, in the comfort of your own home

We have trained and certified antenatal educators for many courses including:

*Full Antenatal Ireland Course

*GentleBirth Course

*HypnoBirthing Course

*Breastfeeding Preporation Course

*Parenting Courses

*VBAC Courses

*Baby Care Consultation 

*Birth Preferences Consultation

*Comfort Measures for labour and Birth Consultation

*Expressing/Pumping Support Consultation

*Birth Trauma Support Consultation 

*Virtual Early Labour Support

*Virtual Early Parenting Support

and much more….

With our virtual support you choose the times that works best for your family. With bespoke packages and courses available

So if you would like to know more about our in person or virtual supports, from fertility to the first year of parenting, get in touch and we would be delighted to get you on the road to a positive and empowered experience with DoulaCare Ireland.

Email info@doulacare.ie

This is Not Homeschooling! Tips and Resources for getting through COVID-19 with children

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

So the government here in Ireland recently announced that schools will not be returning until the end of the summer. And parents, already overwhelmed, are now faced with the prospect of having to figure out how to provide school at home to their children for the next few weeks. Many feel like they are failing at homeschooling and wondering what they are doing wrong.

Well I just want to say for those parents - this is NOT homeschooling. We homeschool so I feel I can say that! I am seeing lots of posts about people struggling at homeschooling and have loads of friends message me to say how do I do it!!!! Well this is not homeschooling!

Homeschooling involves trips to the park, to the library, swimming pool, playgrounds. It involves kids hanging out with their friends and doing activities. It involves the kids going on play dates so I get some quiet and headspace - or their friends coming here so they are kept occupied so I can get work done!

It involves making a well thought out and researched decision to either not send your kids to school or pull them out of school. It's a choice!!!!! Whereas for most people right now this has been something they have to do because the schools are closed - that is a totally different scenario. There are no places to go to run them ragged and keep the kids occupied, or friends to have over so you can have some chill time.

I don't envy anyone forced into this situation - especially if they also trying to combine it with working from home! Like for example, we have tonnes of resources here because we have always homeschooled - so I have spent years building up resources that I know my kids like. We also use the library a huge amount (and there is a special card available to people homeschooling which lets us take out way more books than the usual amount, and hold onto them for a few months - so I always have a full stock of resources here from the library. They are dwindling down now and the library is not back until June. But we will manage I think!). Whereas I can imagine in some houses that isn't the case - because this isn't the norm! And this wasn’t expected. In a classroom situation a teacher might have 30 children, but they are all of the same age and following the same content. Whereas right now families are juggling 2 or 3 wildly different sets of curricula. Or having to try to entertain their only child who is struggling without friends around them.

My heart goes out to everyone in this situation - I know how hard I find it at times and I have chosen it!

Some tips for people trying to manage at home with children right now.

Firstly I wouldn't try to force anything. They are missing their friends and being out in the world (well mine are anyway and I can imagine for school going kids that is multiplied by 10). Even my introverted, homebird 14 year old is missing being out and about, they are missing their cousins and seeing family and friends.

Secondly - kids are ALWAYS learning so it’s OK to take your foot off the accelerator and slow down the pace in your house for now. Think about how they learned how to walk or talk - did you have to give them lessons in this? Usually that would be a no. If they are interested they will learn. Look at what their passions are and ask on social media groups for ideas for links to videos/resources online that they might be able to use (you will usually get great suggestions).

Thirdly for everyone out there struggling right now, my advice would be - take the least stressful path for you. If you have time sit down and watch TV with them - or do some gaming with them (even if you are crap lol!!). There is lots of educational TV that can keep them interested - Horrible Histories, The Wild Kratts, Octonauts, Carmen SanDiego and The Who Was Show all offer interesting information as well as keeping them occupied (and these can be nice to watch with them) - and are all on Netflix UK at the moment. Avatar: The Last Airbender (the cartoon version NOT the film!) is one to sit and watch with them - it is so beautiful and the story line is just amazing.

Play a board game with them (or set them up to play a game together). There are some fab games out there where they can have fun and learn as well - Sleeping Queens and Rat-A-Tat Cat from GameWright Games which involve Maths or Alphabet Lotto from Orchard Toys (who have a fantastic range of educational games that are fun as well). Apples to Apples is a much loved one in our house and encourages creative thinking and debate - and helps children to frame and develop arguments.

History Bombs and Extra History on YouTube have great fun videos that both mine love, as do The Kids Should See This and Ted Ed. There are also great podcasts out there for kids that they might enjoy such as Brains On! and Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls

If you have a garden, get them to plant seeds - they usually enjoy it. Have them cook food for you or do some baking (these are all ways to learn - if you want them to do some Math while doing this - double the quantity needed!).

Finally - if you are worried about your child falling behind, research from children who missed school after the Earthquakes in New Zealand in 2011 found they did not fall behind. Results actually went up in final exams! Similar outcomes were found after Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans in 2005 - where children missed up to 7 weeks of school.

I hope that helps somewhat. If you are trying to juggle work, it's OK if they are watching more screen than usual, I would hope people have understanding employers, but the reality is not everyone will! And bills need to be paid. So do what you have to do to get through this. There is enough going on without adding to the stress - big hugs to you all xxx

Unplugged: Mindfulness and Stress Management in unusual times.

Unplugged: Mindfulness and Stress Management in unusual times.

One week into isolation and already ‘zoomed out’, ‘apped out’ and technology overloaded? 

Turn off, tune in and de-stress the natural way, accepting that we can’t control what’s happening ‘out there’ but we can, with practice, manage what’s happening ‘in here’ in our thoughts, feelings and home environments.

Some tips to thrive in an uncertain world.

1. Don’t minimise feelings  

Allow yourself to feel your feelings, these are difficult times. Your plans and hopes and dreams have radically changed. Its natural to feel grief and loss. Feel fully, grieve fully and move back to the present moment where you can make new choices based on new circumstances 

2. Don’t catastrophize

The crux of mindfulness is to be vigilant against mind wandering and catastrophizing. Write down your fears when they come up, put them in a box and visit them once a day. Make plans for the ones you can control, burn or bin the others.

3. Minimise overwhelm. 

Too much to do and think about? Pick 4 tasks and focus on them until they are done and then pick 4 more. Include rest as a vital task. If this is still overwhelming pick one task at a time.

4. Celebrate. 

Realise how much control you do have! Over your thinking, your schedule, your playlist, your nutrition. Be vigilant for YOU and celebrate your achievements.

6. Breathe 

Conscious breathing turns on the parasympathetic nervous system and helps the body and mind relax. Try a ‘square breath’, Inhale to the count of 4, hold to the count of 4, exhale to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4

7. Move

Within the limits of your body’s condition and flexibility. Dance, stretch, shake.

8. Hum

Humming activities the vagus nerve and promotes healing and relaxation. Breathe in through your nose and hum on the exhale. Do this for one minute and notice the difference.

9. Sing

Singing instantly focusses you in the present moment with the bonus of supporting deep breathing and soothing vibrations in the body.

10. Rest 

Even if sleep is difficult, rest the body, lie down for five minutes of conscious breathing or visualise yourself relaxing in nature. 

11. Unplug 

The science is out there, screen time and electromagnetic energy fields hamper sleep and immune systems. Use a timer to shut down the Wi-Fi at sleep time. Turn your phone off for set periods.

12. Touch

Hugs are amazing for the release of happy hormones. If you are alone hug yourself or gently stroke your forearms to release oxytocin.

13. Smile

Right now, as you read this, smile. Even if you don’t feel it, your brain won’t know the difference, it will think you are happy and release those happy hormones! 

You can do this

You can also watch Lindas tips in this YouTube video https://youtu.be/oHqgmZ1Zo8M 

Thank you to our team member Linda for putting this blog together. You can read more about Linda and the support she offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/linda-oflaherty

Moved over to main website blog:Begin your pelvic floor rehab

Hi to all the wonderful families connecting with Doulacare Ireland. My name is Louise Murphy and I’m a doula and a physiotherapist specialising in pelvic health. 

With the current Covid19 emergency, I’m really conscious that many women in Ireland at the moment won’t have access to pelvic health physiotherapy. This is obviously particularly difficult if you have an acute issue like a large tear after your baby's birth or urinary or bowel leakage or urgency.

So I wanted to reach out to share some tips on how to manage these problems and begin your pelvic floor rehab. 

1. Try not to panic. Not getting to your physiotherapist immediately doesn’t mean that things will necessarily get worse or never improve. If you have a lot of urgency or urge incontinence (leaking as you rush to the toilet), going to the toilet regularly (about every 2 hours) is advisable. This makes sure that the bladder isn’t over filling and overflowing.

2. Keep any stitches dry and clean. Don’t apply anything to them except water. Rinse the area or sit in a shallow bath after using the toilet and gently pat the area dry.

3. For the dreaded bowel movements:

   1. Take advantage of the gastrocolic reflex. This reflex means you’re most likely to have a bowel movement if you go to the toilet half an hour after breakfast, regardless whether you feel an urge or not. Try to make this part of your routine.

   2. Take your time. We all know how it is with a new baby – we run into the bathroom, sit down and push out the pee as fast as we can to get back to our (usually crying) as quickly as possible. So I want you to take your baby with you. Maybe in a bouncer or moses basket or even in a wrap if you have to. Aim to spend 5-7 minutes sitting on the toilet to allow things to happen.

   3. Use the correct position on the toilet. We are designed so that our bowels empty best in a squatting position so feet up on a stool, lean forwards, elbows on knees and entertain your baby, read a book or just enjoy some quiet time!

   4. Use your hand wrapped in tissue to support any stitches if it hurts to them to empty the bowel. 

   5. Take any laxative prescribes for you, hydrate well and eat healthily.

4. Start some pelvic floor rehab. I usually start this by making sure my patients can breathe well and have some awareness of their pelvic floor muscles and what they’re doing. This sounds simple but many, many people find this bit the most difficult part of their rehab. 

Breathing

So make sure that you can do:

• Upper chest breathing – hand on your upper chest and breathe in so that your chest rises towards your chin.

• Lateral (rib) breathing – hand on the ribs on each side and breathe in so that your hands move outwards on your ribs.

• Abdominal breathing – one hand on your chest and one on your tummy. Breathe in and concentrate on allowing your tummy to move outwards while minimising movement in your chest.

If you learn better from observing, just pop the different types of breathing into YouTube and lots of demo videos will come up. 

Practice these different types of breathing in different positions – lying, sitting, standing and practice being more mindful about how you normally breathe. 

Awareness

Once you’ve got the breathing mastered and can do it without having to concentrate too much, I normally move my patients on to working on their awareness. So while practicing your different types of breathing, pay attention to what’s happening with the pelvic floor. 

Just paying attention to begin with. At first you might not really notice anything but stick with it. 

Look out for:

• What the pelvic floor feels like when you breathe in.

• What it feels like when you breathe out.

• What are your tummy muscles doing?

• What’s your bum up to? Nothing? Tightening? Relaxed?

Ideally, we want you to be able to feel a subtle release of the pelvic floor as you breathe in and a gentle (not conscious) tighten or lift as you breathe out.

If you’re aware of this happening, you’re ready to move on to co-ordination.

This is pretty simple but takes practice. So: 

• Breathe in slowly

• Begin to breathe out

• Add a gentle pelvic floor squeeze as you continue to breathe out

• Release

You should be able to feel the squeeze and also the release. If you can’t feel the release, let you a little sooner as your muscle may not yet be strong enough to hold for the full breath out. 

Repeat this 5-10 times a few times a day. If you can, make your squeeze a little bit smaller with each repetition. This improves your control and sensation and reduces squeezing of the other muscles around the area which we want to keep to a minimum.

If you’ve got as far as this, you’re doing great! Keep working on these exercises in different positions and improving your control and sensation. 

If you’re struggling, please don’t feel alone. I’m available through Doulacare Ireland for a chat and will get back to you as soon as I possibly can. There are some online resources available to you that might also help and I’m linking to them below.

My online course: https://mindingmums.teachable.com/p/resetting-your-pelvic-floor (Coupon Code MARCH2020 for 30% off)

Free online Womens Health After Motherhood course:

https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/womens-health-after-motherhood

Videos from the Rotunda Physiotherapy Department:

https://rotunda.ie/knowledgebase/physiotherapy/

This link is about constipation and while you might not necessarily be constipated, a lot of the same information applies:

https://www.evidentlycochrane.net/feet-up-constipation/

Some information about dealing with bladder urgency:

https://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/bladder-training

Some physiotherapists are also doing virtual consultations for clients so chevk in with your local physio to see if they’re able to facilitate this for you. 

Good luck, 

Louise x

Many thanks to Louise for putting this blog together. You can read more about the support Louise offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/louise-murphy

10 Things To Do With Toddlers While #staythefuckhome

With the current covid-19 crisis and the related social distancing, many of us find ourselves at home with our toddlers, thrown out of our usual routine and into the deep end of parenting without the option to visit zoos, playgrounds or swimming pools. While it can seem daunting at first, this can actually be a great time to really tune into your child and make some great memories as a family. In the years to come, our smallies will most likely not remember any details about the virus, but about what happened in our homes during this time – so let’s give it a whirl!

10 Things To Do With Toddlers While #staythefuckhome

1.       Find a show you all enjoy

While being stuck at home, many of us allow the kids a bit more screen time than usual (just pay attention to your child’s cues – some get easily overwhelmed with too much screen time), but you don’t have to endure hours and hours of the typical children’s shows (unless you really enjoy it). Try to find a program (preferably with loads of episodes) you all enjoy! My 3 year old loves The Great British Bake Off, Junior Bake Off or The Secret Life of The Zoo. Nature documentaries like Blue Planet can be fun and educational for the whole family and may help you keep your sanity a little longer.

2.       Get baking

If you usually don’t have the time to bake with your kids, now is your chance. Recipes range from total beginner to master chef and you can find them all with a simple Google search. Don’t rush through it – take your time (after all – we have loads of it right now) and let your little ones help as much as they like – even though it gets messy. Enjoy the experience and the memories you’re making, even if the result looks a little wonky in the end. 

3.       Give a concert

Do you have an aspiring rockstar at home (or are one yourself)? Why not play a concert in your living room (or if you’re brave put on a show for the neighbourhood in your front garden or your balcony!). Whether you’re playing an actual instrument, shake some homemade rattles (another good project to do!), rock a classic pots-and-pans drumkit or an air guitar – put on a great show with your kids and sing and dance your hearts out. They’ll remember it for the rest of their lives!

4.       Build a fort

I’m sure most of us can remember building forts and dens in our childhood. The excitement of crawling into your own little space, your magnificent fort, safe from dragons and all the worries in the world… Why not help your little ones build a fort indoors (blankets, pillows, chairs…) or in your garden (branches, leaves, tarps,…)? This will probably give you hours (if not days) of plat time together and at the end of the day, you can all curl up together in your den and read some bedtime stories.

5.       Attempt a long term project

Now might be the right time to start a long(er) term project with your toddler. Always wanted to grow your own veg? Get your kids involved in sowing the seeds, watering, observing, transplanting…  Had you planned to build a tree house but never gotten around to it? Do it now and let them help! Take a few minutes to sit down and think if there’s any projects you had meant to do with your kids but never did because the time wasn’t right or it would “take too long”. Now is the time to do them!

6.       Get Messy

I know, I know – as parents one of the things we do all the time is cleaning up messes. Mostly  messes we didn’t make. And most of us don’t particularly enjoy this part of parenting. But once in a while it can actually be fun to let the kids get messy (I discovered this when my 3 year old helped herself to 2kg of plain flour the other day….). Instead of worrying about the clean up, enjoy the fun and silliness of getting your hands dirty, splash water through the whole bathroom, play with flour, make a huge mud pit in the garden or do a massive action painting! 

7.       Move!

With playgrounds closed and outside activities limited to uncrowded places, it’s important to incorporate some movement into our new routine and make sure we all run off some energy at some point (cabin fever sets in quickly!). There are some fantastic exercise videos for kids (or families) online, but you don’t have to rely on technology to move. Make up fun movement games, create your own HIIT workout in which every family member chooses one exercise to add to your routine, do a silly dance party, play catch in the garden, see who can jump the longest (or highest or furthest)! 

8.       Do something you always wanted to do

Is there anything YOU always wanted to do? Not necessarily for your kids, but for yourself? Learn a new skill? A new craft? A new language? Why not try and start it, even though your kids might distract you? I’m one of those people who always want to do things “properly” and take my time and concentrate on the task at hand, but that often means I don’t get to do those things until my child is asleep (and I’m knackered). So why not try and casually do bits here and there? I found I’m able to read a new book much quicker if I read a few pages throughout the day when my toddler allows, rather than plucking up the energy to do it in the evening. You may be surprised – your children may actually join in on your activity and it might become a new family project!

9.       Learn a language

Is there a language you or your child is curious about? Do you have anyone in your family or amongst your friends who speaks another language? You could use this time of social distancing to actually connect with someone and learn a few words and sentences of them. Kids usually have a great memory and can remember easy words or phrases quickly, so it could become a fun activity of skyping a friend for a few minutes every day and learning a new word or learning a nursery rhyme in a foreign language. 

10.   Write your own book

Make up your own story with your kids and write it down! Let the kids decide what happens, let them illustrate the pages and keep it as a wonderful memory of a time spent together as a family.

We’re all in this together. Let’s make the most of it.

With thanks to one of our doulas Lisa for putting this list together. You can read more about the support Lisa offers on this link https://www.doulacare.ie/lisatierney

Social Distancing when you have a new baby

SOCIAL DISTANCING DURING THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD

If you have just had a new baby, HUGE congratulations to you and your partner / family! I’m sure you are relieved to finally have your baby in your arms. But what now? In these uncertain times and circumstances we all find ourselves in due to Covid19, we must now keep our distance from the usual people who help us navigate through the early days and weeks of motherhood, notably our own mothers, close relatives, friends and maybe even a Postpartum Doula. 

Although it might all seem a very overwhelming and anxious time, being forced to slow down and stay at home could also be looked at as a favourable thing in the early days and weeks after giving birth. Hopefully, your partner or support person will be able to help out as much as possible with the household chores, perhaps caring for older children but also looking after you so that you can concentrate on recovering after pregnancy and birth and minding your new baby.

I know it’s not the same as in person but you can still reach out to family and friends by phone, Skype, FaceTime, etc and they can still help out by delivering meals or groceries to your front door.

If you are breastfeeding, the latest scientific information encourages mums to keep breastfeeding as it provides your baby with protection against many illnesses.  https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/covid-19?fbclid=IwAR09GhJRhdzdKQJ3KeJSXho2iZtVGYvzy6TSH5oE4vU5Sj7jdxs00PQcdCM

If you are struggling with breastfeeding or didn’t breastfeed during the first few days and would like to start now, contact a Lactation Consultant or a local breastfeeding support group, such as Cuidiu or La Leche League. They would be more than glad to help answer any of your breastfeeding questions or concerns.

Doulacare Ireland Postpartum Doulas offer online support (via video call) if you have any questions about such things as baby comfort measures, infant feeding, postnatal recovery or would like to debrief after labour and birth. DoulaCare Ireland have over 40 doulas to support you so please get in touch if you need to.

Please reach out for help if you are feeling very anxious or low. Organisations such as Nurture Health specialise in pregnancy and postpartum mental health and will do phone counselling support. Depending on your policy, some health insurance companies will cover a number of sessions so make sure to check your policy beforehand. Also if you have the GentleBirth app, there are some postnatal tracks which some mums finds really helpful if they are not feeling well.

There are some good tips in our Fourth Trimester blog also https://www.doulacare.ie/blog/2018/7/25/what-is-the-fourth-trimester

There is also lots of online support available so try to avail of as much of that as possible too:

DoulaCare Ireland: https://www.doulacare.ie/

Breastfeeding Supports:

Association of Lactation Consultants Ireland http://www.alcireland.ie/find-a-consultant/ 

Cuidiu, Irish Childbirth Trust http://www.cuidiu-ict.ie/supports_breastfeeding_counsellors

Le Leche League Ireland https://www.lalecheleagueireland.com/groups/

Friends of Breastfeeding http://www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie/wp/support-2/

National HSE Breastfeeding support https://www2.hse.ie/babies-and-toddlers/breastfeeding/

Postpartum mental health care: https://nurturehealth.ie/

 Remember to keep adhering to HSE guidelines regarding protecting yourself and your family https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/coronavirus/protect-yourself.html, try to get outside for some fresh air during the day, get as much rest as possible and lots of skin to skin contact with your baby will help you bond and keep baby feeling safe and secure in these worrying times. Hopefully over the next few weeks things will get back to some normality and we will all stay safe and well in the meantime. Best wishes to you and your families from all at DoulaCare Ireland 

With thanks to one of our doulas Maura for writing this blog. You can read all about the support Maura offers on this link https://www.doulacare.ie/maura-oshea

Moved over:What is all that white stuff on my newborn? (Vernix)

What is all that white yucky stuff on my baby?! 

The vernix caseosa is a greasy, cheese-like coating that covers babies’ skin during their time in the womb. It may not look pretty but the vernix actually serves an important function: It protects your new baby's skin from getting pickled by amniotic fluid in utero. (you know when you're in the bath too long?)

Vernix usually develops around 19 weeks into pregnancy and continues to thicken until around week 34. By week 40, the vernix is mostly gone.

Babies born earlier tend to have more vernix than those born later. Babies born a few weeks before their due date might still be well coated. Babies born at term may only have a little bit of vernix left in the folds of their skin or under their nails. Babies born after their due date might not have any vernix left at all. Occasionally their skin might be wrinkled or peeling as a result, but don’t worry — it’s temporary! (remember the being in a bath too long reference?)

The vernix caseosa helps form a barrier between your baby’s skin and the surrounding amniotic fluid. Its main role is to protect and hydrate

It does have other benefits too:

🤰During pregnancy: The vernix can help to nourish developing gut bacteria (as your baby swallows some in utero) 

❤️During labour: Vernix’s greasy, oily texture could serve as a natural lubricant as your baby makes their way down the birth canal.

👶After birth: Vernix can continue to protect your baby’s skin by helping it retain moisture and stave off bacterial infections as they adjust to our outside world

🤱Breastfeeding: Vernix help babies latch on too. The smell of vernix and amniotic fluid triggers neural connections in babies’ brain needed for breastfeeding. 

🧕For Mother: Vernix contains compounds thought to promote perineal wound healing, so it may aid in recovery for vaginal births. 

So try to resist the urge of washing or rubbing it off. Rub it into baby! Evidence shows delaying your baby's first bath can help with bonding, breastfeeding and protection. WHO (World Health Organisation) recommends leaving the vernix on your baby for at least six hours, and preferably 24 hours after birth. As for an upper limit? There’s no official recommendation. Many parents wait days.

Did your baby have much vernix at birth?

Moved over to main website blog: Obstetric Cholestasis

Obstetric cholestasis

It has a number of names : Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy (ICP), obstetric cholestasis, cholestasis of pregnancy, jaundice of pregnancy, and prurigo gravidarum.

What is it?

Obstetric cholestasis is a disorder that affects your liver during pregnancy. The main symptom is itching on the palm of your hands or soles of your feet. Another symptom is persistent itching of the skin (anywhere on the body) when there is no skin rash.

How common is it?

Takes from the RCOG : Obstetric cholestasis is uncommon. In the UK, it affects about 7 in 1000 women (less than 1%). Obstetric cholestasis is more common among women of Indian- Asian or Pakistani-Asian origin, with 15 in 1000 women (1.5%) affected.

Iching is a really common part of pregnancy, caused by the stretching of skin as your body accommodates your growing baby/babies. However, it can be one of the warning signs of cholestasis. It is important to flag any concerns with your care provider (midwife or obstetrician). They can preform a simple blood test to rule out any concerns of cholestasis. 

So what happens if you are diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis? 

Once diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis, you will be advised to be under the care of a consultant and have your baby in hospital with a neonatal unit (NICU). 

There is no cure for obstetric cholestasis but all symptoms generally disappear once your baby is born.

Most women will then have additional antenatal checks. This will include regular liver function tests, until you have had your baby. You will also be offered additional monitoring of your baby. Often this will involve extra ultrasound scans checking growth and measuring the amount of fluid around your baby.

When you are in labour, you will be offered continuous monitoring of your baby’s heart rate. There is some evidence that it is safer to birth your baby early if your symptoms are severe. You will have an opportunity to discuss the option of having labour induced after 37 weeks. 

Early induction (before term, 37 weeks) may carry an increased chance of having interventions such as assisted birth (forceps etc) or having a caesarean birth. It also carries an increased chance of your baby being admitted to the special care baby unit (SCBU) with complications of preterm birth. Your care provider or obstetrician will discuss what they feel is best for you and your baby in your individual situation so that you can make an informed choice.

Remember to take time to ask lots of questions. It can be helpful to have a notebook and pen ready to take notes as in unexpected situations it can be hard to take in all the medical information you are being told. 

Take time to weigh up all the pros and cons and understand each step before making your informed decision. 

Our doulas are an amazing support through this process - walking the journey with you - offering emotional and physical support. If you would like more information on how we can best support you pop us an email on info@doulacare.ie 

Moved over to main website blog:Surviving Holidays and Occasions with a small Baby

Holidays and special events (such as Christmas, Weddings or family events) are such an exciting time but they can also bring anxiety with how you will balance everything with your new baby. 

Here are some of my top tips to help you through. 

Plan ahead.

Try your best to plan your day and/or trip around your baby current schedule (if they have a schedule that is) A hungry baby or a baby who misses a nap is not a happy baby and in turn this makes for some stressed out parents. A sling can be a great tool to allow baby to nap on the go, while still getting the comfort and reassurance of cuddles with a parent in unfamiliar surroundings. 

Travelling 

If you are heading out in the car to visit family try to time the car journey during babys nap. Hopefully you will get most of the trip with them oblivious to it all. Make sure to factor in time for stops if needed (a roadside feed or nappy change - or sometimes baby needs a break from the car seat for a while) Make sure to bring some of your babys familiar items like their favourite toy  or blanket. Always have some spare outfits, extra nappies and wipes, and some extra bottles & milk if you bottle feed. If you are breastfeeding make sure to take time to feed to avoid getting overly full (this can easily happen when you are running around and blocked ducts are common during busy periods) 

Online shopping

In the modern world we live in it is so easy to shop online. We have everything at our finger tips! Where possible do your shopping online to avoid stressful days in long queues with a tired and overstimulated baby. Plan your food/grocery shop to be delivered and you can buy your families special outfits online too! Gift vouchers are the perfect no fuss gift for loved ones and best of all, you don’t have to wrap them! 

Lower your expectations 

Take that pressure off your shoulders. Absolutely no one will expect you to do it all at a family event when you have a small baby. Your biggest critic is you. Yes you may usually bake a home made treat but for this year shop bought will be fine. You can’t do it all so for this year, allow yourself to prioritise your baby and yourself! 

Keep it Simple

Of course everyone wants to spoil your new baby. It is natural. However, your gorgeous new baby won’t remember any of the gifts. Why not make some memories like a family photo or some baby hand and foot prints? Try to allow the chaos of holidays or big events to float on by as you take some time to be truly present and enjoy the experience with your new baby.

Take time out when needed

Everyone wants to be with the baby. It can be exhausting to be “switched on” all the time. If you need a break find a quiet room to sit or lay down with your baby. Have the time to breast or bottle feed them just you two. Reconnect and allow you both to relax. When you’re both ready you can venture back out to everyone. 

Keep your baby close.

Newborns do not have the same immune system as an adult. They are more vulnerable to picking up bugs and infections. Don’t feel you have to let everyone have a hold of your baby. It’s ok to ask people to wash their hands first and not to kiss baby. This is especially important during winter months when RSV, flu, coughs and colds are widespread. You are not a neurotic parents, let them think what they think - your baby wellbeing is priority. 

Try to Go with the Flow

It can be hard to stay on schedule with a new baby in tow. If you end up being late for an event or gathering or you have to leave for a while to settle baby - that is ok. It can be stressful at times, as you try to keep all the balls in the air. Remember take that pressure off yourself. You will get there when you get there. Babys have an unbelievable way of doing a massive poo or puking all over themselves and you just as you’re about to go out the door. Give yourself lots of time for these mishaps and if you are late everyone will understand

Hire a Postpartum Doula

Did you know our doulas can travel with you to events? We can help you to get ready, caring for baby while you shower and get dressed. We can bath baby, get them into their new outfit. We can help to get older siblings ready. Our doulas pack your bags, ensuring you and your family have everything you need. We prepare snacks to keep you all going so no one gets Hangry :) WE tidy up the house so when you return everything is in its place. We make sure that you remember to eat and drink throughout the day. We nurture you so you can really enjoy the experience and take all the stressing out.

Do get in touch if you would like to know more (email info@doulacare.ie)

Remember to enjoy the time. Whether it is your baby first Christmas, or a family event - the stuff like outfits and presents are all nice but they don’t make the memories. Take time to be truly part of the experience. Allow yourself to sit and be waited on. Cuddle your baby and let others run around. 

Moved over to main website blog:Why I donated my placenta to search dogs

Why I donated my placenta to search and rescue dogs

What happens to your placenta after you give birth? Well women in Ireland have a number of options

1. Let the hospital dispose of it

2. Bring it home and plant a tree over it in your garden

3. Get it encapsulated or consume it raw (in a smoothie)

4. Pop it in your freezer to keep

5. Donate it to search and rescue dogs

On both of my sons births I never put much thought into what happened to my placentas. I don’t remember seeing them or being asked. They simply were mentioned and then disappeared. 

So with my last pregnancy I put thought into what I would do with my placenta this time. I didn’t want to just dump my placenta. It had been this amazing source of life to my daughter for 9 months. My body had created this perfectly tailored organ to help my baby grow. It provided oxygen and nutrients to my baby and removed waste products from my baby blood. I am fascinated by placentas, can you tell? LOL 

I contemplated a nice cherry blossom tree in the garden to symbolise my daughters birth. I did think it would be lovely.

For me personally, I did not want to consume my placenta. Being a doula and antenatal educator everything I present to my clients is evidence based. I spend a huge amount of time researching topics relevant to pregnancy, birth and early parenting.  With placenta consumption (either via capsules or raw) there is no concrete evidence. There are lots of antidotal findings, both for and against but until there is a scientific study done I was not willing to take the risk. 

So for me I felt it was fitting for my placenta to be useful and to go to a good cause. I donated my placenta to Irish Search Dogs.They use the placenta tissue to train their dogs in finding human remains. While this is a heart breaking situation - my hope is that by donating my placenta, it is helping a family to find a loved one and to lay them to rest. 

My husband is a Garda and we both know only too well the horrible situations many families find themselves in. When a loved one dies, giving that family closure can mean so much. Irish Search Dogs give this to those whose loved ones are missing. It is an unbelievable service provided. While this is not a situation people like to think about much, it is invaluable to many many families nationwide. 

When I decided to donate my placenta I spoke with the chairman Glen who was absolutely lovely. He was so kind and understanding and made the process so easy. He put zero pressure on me and simply said if I decided to go ahead and remembered on the day that would be brilliant. My husband brought my placenta home from the hospital and popped it into our freezer (in the bag the hospital had provided) I then contacted Irish Search Dogs and they even had one of their volunteers collect it from my home! Making it totally hassle free!

So if you are unsure what you would like to do with your placenta, please do consider donating it. During your pregnancy it was a gift of life and afterwards it can continue to give so much to families by helping to train these amazing dogs!

If you would like to learn more about Irish Search Dogs their website is

 http://irishsearchdogs.com/About.html

Glens email is glen@irishsearchdogs.com (A total gentleman)

Jen x

On our children birthdays

On the anniversary of your babies birth 

Every year as the days approach my children birthdays, I find myself reliving where I was and what I was doing the year they were born. Particularly the 24 hours just before. My eldest boy is twelve. If anything, as the years pass these days seem even more special. Reliving their births and remembering how wonderful it was to be pregnant with them, adds a sentimental value to their birthday beyond celebrating their life so far. 

I wake up the day before thinking ‘This day twelve years ago, I woke up for the last time before I would be changed forever and become a mother.’ I had no idea the impact the next 24 hours would have on me or how my life would change forever - my soul tied to another - who shared my body and grew from love.

How did the years move so quickly? Twelve years of mothering. Buying a house. Studying. Working. Taking trips. Having more babies. First days of school. Ferrying kids to a from sports and activities. Family meals. Endless loads of laundry. Play dates. Baby groups. Parent teacher meetings. School events. More laundry. 

I look at the clock randomly and think : ‘11am, this time twelve years ago I was just getting on the DART with my cup of tea to go in for my 41 week hospital check.. Rubbing my big bump. Feeling my baby kick. Wondering what he will look like’

I look at my beautiful boy and wonder again where the years have gone. He is almost as tall as me now. Yet I can still feel his tiny newborn body snuggled up to me. How it felt to kiss his soft cheeks. That gorgeous baby smell as I sniffed his tiny head with wisps of hair. The absolute joy I felt breastfeeding him. That glorious bond of mother and baby, in our own little bubble of calm. 

‘3pm, I was making my way to that cafe for a smoothie. I was feeling uncomfortable. Little did I know, I was in early labour and a few hours later I would be heading back to the hospital to give birth.’ 

I still get hugs. Sometimes (once his friends are not around) Kisses are restricted to a peck on the cheek. The hormones are running through his body. Bouncing him from my boy to a young man. Regular melt downs. Slamming of doors. Change is happening. 

‘11pm, in the car on the way into hospital. Excited to meet my baby but fearful of what was to come’

My seven year old comes bouncing in and kisses his baby sister. Before I know it, he will be at this stage. No longer jumping on me for big sloppy kisses and a massive squeeze of a hug. Enjoy this time now I remind myself. The days seem endless sometimes, but the years seem to fly by in a flash. 

‘8.08am, my world shifts a gear forever. I am someones mama. This perfect, tiny, human is mine. Image of his dad of course. Surrounded by love. Filling my heart to bursting point’

Me with my first son seth in 2007 (at the tender age of twenty)

As we all sit around the kitchen table singing happy birthday. My handsome boy blushes. He is embarrassed by the fuss now. I am grateful for the memories. Some hard. Some challenging for sure. Overall as I remember my experiences of motherhood, I am filled with love. It is not always perfect. Nothing is, right? But I wouldn’t change any of it. My children are my world and I love celebrating each journey into motherhood, with each individual experience - once a year. 

So to all the mothers out there on your Childs birthday. Happy Birth Day memories to you too. Your strength, love and power got you through and will continue to do so as the years fly by. Take a moment to remember. Maybe every now and then you can pause and relive your experience too.

My first born son Seth, about to embark on the teen years. Photo credit @JohannaKingPhotography

A Wonderful Partnership with Irish Life Health

Did you know DoulaCare Ireland have an exclusive partnership with Irish Life Health? 

At DoulaCare Ireland we offer true continuity of care and our focus is supporting families as they transition into parenthood. This is not always an easy journey, but it is one that can be fulfilling beyond words. We support women and their partners throughout pregnancy. We offer continuous support during labour and birth (home and hospital birth).  We will wipe your brow when hot, keep you calm and focused. We support your partner to feel in control offering them tips and tricks too. We stay by your side, after birth. We go to your home. We nurture you as you find your new normal We cook home cooked meals, catch up on laundry, keep the house running so as new parents our clients can slow down and enjoy those early days. We offer evidence based information. We are an independent support person, without the same emotional attachment a family member can have - meaning unbiased care. We pass on years of knowledge around pregnancy, birth and parenting. Helping our clients to make informed decisions about their care and that of their baby/babies.

We don’t want our clients to. drift through their pregnancy, unsure of their options and frightened of their birth.

We don’t want our clients to muddle through in a sleep deprived fog in those early weeks of parenting.

We want them to feel supported, heard and validated.

We want them to feel cared for, safe and confident.

We ensure our clients thrive in every aspect of this journey, not just survive! 

We chose to partner with Irish Life Health for their forward thinking and family centred plans. They have a huge focus on well being (physical, emotional and mental) which we felt sits with our own ethos. What makes Irish Life Health different to other insurers is that their support doesn’t end when you leave hospital. They know that becoming a parent is a life-changing journey that goes far beyond your hospital stay. Their benefits are there to support you emotionally and physically every step of the way.

Irish Life Health can help you access the support you need for whatever stage you’re at on your parenting journey. They have created an incredible Maternity and Parenting Path package. With DoulaCare Ireland you can now claim up to €200 off Birth Doula support plus up to 18 hours Postpartum Doula support in your home to set you up for success!* 

This is all available exclusively with DoulaCare Ireland. Irish Life Health only work with our Doula Agency.  Why choose Doulacare Ireland above an independent doula? 

Because DoulaCare Ireland are a professional national doula agency. 

• Our doulas are the only doulas in the country that are Garda vetted for their role. 

• All of our doulas carry insurance. 

• All of our doulas are trained by a reputable organisation. 

• All of our doulas attend a minimum of 3 CPD days per year.

• All of our doulas have access to mentorship & counselling sessions if required.

• All of our doulas have opportunity to debrief.

• All of our doulas sign up to a code of ethics.

• All of our doulas know their scope and practice within this at all times.

• All of our doulas are passionate and caring. 

• Mary and Jen are two of the most experienced doulas in their fields and bring that knowledge and support to our doulas and to our clients.

Our Doulacare Ireland national team

But there is more! Irish Life Health are offering their members support in many areas to ensure they have a positive parenting experience. You may be entitled to healthy meals delivered to your door with Gourmet Fuel. A midwife visit in your home. Access to the GentleBirth App https://www.gentlebirth.com A beautiful food hamper. Some home cleaning hours. Access to mental health supports with Nurture Health, another of our working partnerships. They are a nationwide counselling service specialising in the care of parents from fertility issues, conception, and pregnancy right through to postpartum and parenting. You can find out more on their website https://nurturehealth.ie/about-us/ You could have access to a Dietician or Nutritionist Consultation. You could have some Acupuncture sessions or take yoga or pilates classes and so much more!

We are delighted to be a part of this amazing care. We feel parents in Ireland are under so much pressure to get it all right when pregnant, partners are expected to know how to support a Mum during labour (without ever having been near a labour room before). We are expected to just  ‘bounce back’ to ‘normal life’ after having a baby. The big secret no one tells you is you will have to adjust to a new normal. This can take some time. With all of the outlines supports, parents can do this without feeling like they are losing control. Every pregnancy is unique. Every birth experience is unique. Everyone parents in their own way to meet the needs of their unique baby. Babies do not pop out with a manual. New parents have to find what works, one day at a time. Our doulas will be right there, offering encouragement and support every step of the way. 

Any questions?

Please give `Irish Life Health Customer Care team a call on 1890 714 444 or email heretohelp@irishlifehealth.ie to check your plan and see what you may be entitled to!

You can read more about some of these fantastic benefits here

https://www.irishlifehealth.ie/the-parenting-path/redeeming-maternity-benefits

https://www.irishlifehealth.ie/the-parenting-path/the-big-day

For direct enquiries about our benefits with Irish Life Health pop us an email irishlife.health@doulacare.ie or

info@doulacare.ie for general enquiries

*Each policy plan is unique so you can check with their customer care team if your policy is covered or you can make amendments to ensure it is included

Mothering a baby who has Down Syndrome

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My name is Gillian Phelan. I was invited by Doulacare Ireland to talk a little bit about my daughter Elliah who was born with Down Syndrome and my experience with all that comes with it, and also what we are doing to help her develop at as normal a rate as possible.

Firstly a little back story... Elliah is my first child, born thanks to IVF (after many failed attempts and surgeries) in October 2018. I had an excellent pregnancy up to 34 weeks when my placenta rather suddenly shut down leading to a real emergency c-section. A movie-worthy dramatic scene. But that’s a story for another time.

Baby had to be taken to Special Care because she was small (4lbs), but breathing on her own and otherwise doing pretty well. As soon as I saw her I said to myself that her eyes looked ‘Down Syndromey’... Tests went off and we waited and waited and waited... Every day the consultants were hopeful that the results would be back “tomorrow”, or “ by the end of the week”. There really was a doubt in our minds. Some of our nurses said they didn’t think she had it. Others were less sure. Her eyes were literally the only tell tale - she didn’t have any of the other signs on the checklist. It took 17 days for the diagnosis to come back from Crumlin - 10 minutes up the road from The Coombe where we were. It was confirmed that Elliah has Trisomy 21 - which means that she has a third copy of her 21st chromosome. Nobody knows why it happens, but in 1 out of 800 births it just does.

So we were told what is to be expected of our daughter, and quite honestly, from the get-go it seemed very limited. We were being told not to expect much. That there isn’t much hope that she be independent or have a fulfilling life in the usual sense. Well, I absolutely reject that. Their limitations, not ours. Putting a child in a box labeled ‘limited’ will only encourage them to be just that. This is not acceptable for me. Additional needs or not, each child develops at a different rate, and faces their own individual challenges.

Needless to say, once the initial settling in period had passed, we looked into alternative therapies to help ‘wake up’ her senses so to speak. Basically we were interested in anything that would help bridge the gap between herself and other babies of the same age. Our goal will always be that she be as close as possible to doing the things that her peers are doing. Whether that be sitting up unassisted, crawling, walking, talking and all those other key achievements down the line. We are linked up with St Michaels House in Ballymun now and everyone is great. They do a fantastic job, they really do. But relying on that one Physio or Speech therapist visit a month and going one morning a week to the pool just isn’t enough. Physical and mental development go hand in hand, and we have now found a set of daily stimulation exercises that work for us and are giving good results.

We travelled to France to meet with an ex Montessori teacher who has a 5 year old daughter with DS. She has become an alternative consultant on all things DS, and sees families to build a personalised program for their children. Her daughters name is Marie, and she is quite exceptional. Her speech and motor skills are pretty much those of an average child of her age. She is at the same level as all her friends and attending mainstream school without a Special Needs Assistant. Emmanuelle started out with her solid Montessori background and has done extensive research and training to complement that. She saw Elliah over 2 days and gave us a program to follow based on her particular strengths and weaknesses.

We were highly recommended to read Glenn Domans (horribly entitled) book ‘How smart is your baby?’ Domans research stretched over 40 years and he worked with thousands of children and their families - for the most part the babies and children in his studies had brain damage, not DS. Specific exercises and hyper-stimulation techniques are used to override the problem and wake up the affected senses. Now I’m not going to lie, some of this stuff is totally counter intuitive for the mother of a small baby, but his results really do speak for themselves. So after reading the book, and seeing Emmanuelle in France, we had a specially adapted exercise and stimulation plan for our baby.

We have built her a crawling ramp to encourage as much movement on her tummy as possible. Children with DS tend to have issues with their muscle tone, so strengthening those all important neck and back muscles is vital.

We also had to ditch the traditional play mat which was not at all adapted to her needs. It has been replaced with a large gym mat - exactly like the ones we used to have in school (the navy blue yokes).

We also have a Dayvia light which is on constantly during her sessions. The very bright light is recommended for sensory stimulation of course, but also for helping with the distinction between day and night. Not to mention luminotherapy in our dark winter months.

The last ‘big’ thing we invested in after reading the research is an electromagnetic machine called an Earth Pulse. Designed to help athletes and Racehorses recuperate better, it emits a field adapted to the individuals needs so their rest is optimised and thus their performance enhanced. During their testing process they realised that all of the people partaking in the trial who had thyroid issues gradually stopped needing to take their medication. This is a key factor in DS. Our expert in France insists that ALL children with Down Syndrome have an issue with their thyroid. Even if a blood test says it’s functioning, ie producing satisfactory levels of thyroxin, there are no further tests done to check if that thyroxin is doing its job as it should in the cells. It really is one of those things where you believe it or you don’t. We thought that we have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain. It’s been a few weeks now and Elliah is definitely more alert, more interested in her surroundings, more of a sparkle in her eye. She’s even sitting up in her highchair which is a big milestone and around the same time as an averagely developing baby.

Emmanuelle has been using the machine under Maries bed for a couple of years now and she insists that she started to see a difference in her capacities after a few weeks. Since we seem to have a similar timeline, I’m certainly inclined to agree.

It’s a lot. It’s very time consuming. But seeing Elliah improve every day is all the motivation I need

(I’ll have a shower when she’s 2 🤪) I’m also exclusively pumping which doesn’t help time-wise, but that’s my choice. It’s not a chore though. Elliah is not a burden. We feel as much love, and pride as any other parents. DS comes with the innate capacity to truly be oneself. To find joy in the simplest of things and to love without conditions or judgement. She is funny and sassy and an absolute ray of sunshine. I simply cannot imagine life without her smile.

Hopefully we are putting in place a foundation that will help our daughter be her best self and have more choices in her future. We will at least know that we gave it everything we had.

Well done if you’ve gotten to the end of this post 😂

What we wouldn’t do for our kids.

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A response to Barbara Ellen’s “Meghan Markle’s home birth should not blind us to the risks for most women” published on The Guardian, 13th April 2019.

A response to Barbara Ellen’s “Meghan Markle’s home birth should not blind us to the risks for most women” published on The Guardian, 13th April 2019.

I am deeply disappointed in The Guardian for publishing Barbara Ellen’s ill-informed, fear-mongering article on the dangers of Meghan Markle’s decision for a home birth in influencing us, common plebeian women, who couldn’t possibly have a safe home birth without the royal treatment she will receive.

Based on research and reliable medical evidence, the World Health Organization (WHO) states “It has never been scientifically proven that the hospital is a safer place than the home for a woman who has had an uncomplicated pregnancy to have her baby.” No evidence that the hospital is safer for uncomplicated, low-risk pregnancies. You can also find, on the NHS website, information regarding revised guidelines issued by NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) which “recommended that women with low risk of complications in childbirth should be encouraged to either give birth at home or at a midwife-led unit.” The HSE, here in Ireland, also states that “research shows that a planned home birth is an acceptable and safe alternative to a planned hospital birth,” again, for healthy women with uncomplicated pregnancies. The HSE itself offers a homebirth scheme as one of its maternity care options, as does the NHS.

I could stop here. But I won’t.

I’m offended personally by the assumption that we, common women, wouldn’t carefully plan a home birth, or any kind of birth for that matter, as we have learned to do so from horrific hospital experiences. Anyone who has been listening to Joe Duffy lately would know all about that.

Among the inaccurate information contained in the article, I’d like to clarify a few:

• Homebirths are not attended by one midwife, but two. That’s how it works under HSE guidelines. Besides, with a midwife, at home, you get continuity of care, which hospitals fail to provide due to the way they are structured. This continuous care, provided by one person who you have come to know and trust, is associated with shorter labors and lower rates of intervention; hence the ever-growing popularity of birth doulas (in all birth settings; hospital, birth center, home, etc).

• When women who are giving birth at home need to transfer to the hospital, they don’t get there by “any means possible”; they use an ambulance service which has already been notified of the start of their labor and has coordinates to their home.

• The article mentions the “risks to most women”, which is also untrue as high-risk complications occur in less than 15% of all pregnancies, as stated by UC San Francisco Health.

Furthermore, if Barbara knew anything about the physiology of childbirth (because yes, newsflash: it’s a physiological process, not necessarily a “serious, bloody business”, as she hauntingly states), she would understand that in fact “splashing about in a birthing pool […] surrounded by Jo Malone candles […] and Enya on Spotify” makes an enormous difference to the progress of labor and can be the crucial difference between a straight-forward, uncomplicated delivery and a cesarean.

Our Co-owner Mary Tighe seen supporting her doula client during a home birth

That is because the physiology of childbirth is dependent on intricate, sophisticated hormonal dynamics. The driver’s seat is taken by oxytocin. They give you a synthetic version of said hormone in the hospital to start or augment labor. They also give it to you to facilitate the delivery of the placenta and to prevent hemorrhage. Oxytocin also aids in bonding with baby and the start of breastfeeding, both of which the synthetic version can’t do, by the way. But how is oxytocin brought about naturally then? Well, it’s the hormone of love and intimacy. So it’s raised through touch, massage, kissing, being in a safe, quiet, intimate place, with dimmed lights and privacy, with freedom to move around, have some water, eat something if you so wish; with no strangers walking in and out, asking a million questions, poking and probing at you. And for some people that might very well be a warm tub of water or shower, surrounded by candles, with Enya on Spotify. Delivering a baby is much more like making a baby than we seem to want to recognize. So, the answer is: whatever floats your boat, as long as it’s a safe option for you. Feel safer in a hospital? Then by all means, have a hospital birth! Have a complication that may require medical attention? Again, the hospital is probably a safer option for you. But this commonplace, ignorant discourse demonizing something you obviously know very little about is unacceptable. As a woman, I find that adding even more fear to this process, which can be a beautifully empowering one, is unacceptable. It’s like bullying women, more than they already are in this “serious, bloody business”.

There are various, researched techniques, or methods, that can attest to the efficacy of supporting this hormonal interplay, as they usually translate into calmer, quicker labors, with less unnecessary intervention (which means less risks for mother and baby), and better memories to cherish forever, because you will. forever. remember. that day. They are the likes of Lamaze, HypnoBirthing, and Ireland’s very own GentleBirth techniques, devising an informed birth plan, or hiring a birth companion, such as a doula, all of which work to empower and support the laboring woman and her baby, her feelings and desires, and in turn, this miraculous hormonal process.

You might wonder how you may benefit from having a doula, a hired birth companion, at a home birth, like Meghan is said to be doing. Doula support might indeed look a bit differently at home, because they can focus on you and your partner completely, and not have to deal with the hospital environment. They arrive before your midwife and are by your side the entire time. It gets to a point sometimes where midwives actually need to rest, to make sure they are well able to identify your medical needs, while a doula, in quite a different mindset, will still stand by you. Additionally, should you transfer to the hospital, they will accompany you and provide invaluable continuity of care. 

General areas in which doulas focus their support include: emotional and psychological preparation, guidance, and ease; physical comfort, positioning, and nurturing touch; supporting you in your confidence, decision-making, learning, gathering information and understanding your preferences. Although doulas and midwives both value those components as part of a satisfying birth, doulas get to focus on them entirely, while midwives are tending to clinical tasks. So together, at home, they are a wonderfully powerful team.

Of all the fashionable trends out there, I think this would be an absolutely lovely one to get informed about—and yes, if it’s a suitable option for you and your specific circumstances, maybe even follow.

Anita Petry

Birth and Postpartum Doula with DoulaCare Ireland

Member of the Doula Association of Ireland

Originally from Brazil, Anita now lives in Dublin with her husband David.

The Irish Maternity System - Birth Trauma (Joe Duffy stories)

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DoulaCare Ireland have (like many others in Ireland) been listening to the stories that have been shared by families in Ireland on the Joe Duffy show over the last week. They have made very emotional listening at times. Unfortunately as doulas and childbirth educators we have been privy to similar stories over the years from women who have reached out to us, looking for someone to talk to. To know that women finally have a public platform to share their stories and to truly be heard is one of the positives to come out of the show. 

At DoulaCare Ireland we support clients nationwide, and of course some will have had past birth trauma. These women and their families often feel they cannot speak about their experiences or they will be treated badly on subsequent pregnancies. Those who do speak out often feel they are brushed aside or their trauma is belittled by hospital staff. 

There is very little support within our maternity service for those who have had challenging birth experiences and need someone to talk to. Many of these women often apologise for feeling upset about their experience. After all, they have a healthy baby. Shouldn’t they be OK with how things went? Everyone else seems to think they should be grateful that all is well with baby and move on. But just because you are thrilled to have a healthy baby doesn’t mean you don’t get to grieve for the birth you had hoped to have. It is OK to be upset at how you were treated during your pregnancy and labour. It is such a vulnerable time in a woman’s life and while we may be nervous about the unknown, most of us don’t think that this will be compounded by being spoken to harshly or mistreated by the people we are supposed to trust. 

At DoulaCare Ireland we work closely with other supportive organisations and refer our clients to available services. 

If you have an experience (negative or positive) within the HSE care you can leave your feedback on their site called Your Service Your Say. This information does get reviewed and will be brought to the person in question. 

https://www2.hse.ie/services/your-service-your-say/your-service-your-say.html

We feel it is important to highlight the fantastic work that AIMS Ireland have done since 2007. They are campaigners for safe and respectful maternity care for the women of Ireland and they work tirelessly on a voluntary basis to do so. If you need advice or supports please do contact them on www.aimsireland.ie

We are also proud partners with Nurture Health, who are a national counselling service. They specialise in the care of women and their families during pregnancy and the postnatal period. They have counsellors nationwide who offer space and time to women who have traumatic experiences or have postpartum mood disorders. Irene, the CEO, always ensures their clients are seen quickly and matches them with the best counsellor for their needs www.nurturehealth.ie (and some of your hours may be covered by health insurance - Irish Life Health for example, offer hours with Nurture Health through their Parenting Path packages for new families.)

Some women find it helpful to get their notes from the hospital. They can be requested by writing into the Freedom of Information Officer in the hospital attended, with Name, Date of Birth and any other relevant details. The applicant must mention that they are requesting their notes under the Freedom Of Information Act in order to receive them free of charge. They will write back  with a standard letter saying they will give a response within 28 days, before sending on the notes on. If desired and the Mum feels able to do so they can then request to meet with the Head of Midwifery or with your Obstetrician to have a review of your notes (AIMS Ireland also offer this option). 

Many of the stories shared over the last week have mentioned women being alone and frightened or not understanding what was happening. With DoulaCare Ireland these situations never arise. With our agency model, each client has their chosen doula but also a back up doula. They also have the support of our full team of 35 doulas - all fully Garda Vetted. This means no matter how long a labour and birth lasts (4 day induction for example) our clients will have constant support from a known doula. They also have the knowledge and experience of 35 doulas to tap into at any point. We have women with diverse backgrounds in our team, from women health physiotherapist, midwives, nurses, yoga instructors, antenatal educators and much more. While our role is not to speak for you during labour we are there to help facilitate conversations between client and their health care provider, encouraging the Mum to ask questions if it looks like there is a lack of understanding on their part. 

Doula support is scientifically proven to reduce traumatic experiences and postnatal mood disorders. A Cochrane Review 2017 showed:

Women who had doula support were:

• more likely to have spontaneous birth

• more likely to have shorter labour

• less likely to use pain medication

• less likely to have Caesarean birth

• baby less likely to have low Agpars

• Lower levels of Postpartum Mood Disorders

Women who had doula support had:

• 31% decrease in use of Pitocin

• 28% decrease in Caesarean

• 12% increase in Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery

• 9% decrease in use of pain relief med.

• 14% decrease in baby going to SCBU

• 34% decrease in risk of being dissatisfied after birth

We welcome the discussions on Joe Duffy show and thank the team in RTE for opening up the space for these women to share their story and finally be heard. It is shocking how many women have experienced trauma and remain silent. We hope that women will be able to find their voice, to speak up for their rights and to get the support they deserve. We also hope that those working in the maternity system listen and work to implement change. It must be hard for anyone who works in this area who actively supports and cares for women in kind and compassionate ways to hear these stories, as this is not how they would ever treat anyone in labour themselves. However, the myriad of stories from all over the country show that there is a systemic approach to treating women that needs to be addressed and changed for things to improve. 

Sharing these stories is the first big step. Well done to every single woman/partner/supporter who has spoken out. Your strength will be a part in driving change for all the women and their families who will be entering into the Irish maternity system. 

We are here to support all women and their families. Get in touch if you need compassionate care postnatally to help you recover from a traumatic experience, or if you are embarking on a subsequent pregnancy. Your voice will be heard.

info@doulacare.ie

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Have you heard of Naming Ceremony?

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A Naming Ceremony is a celebration of family and life. This is a great way to bring your family and friends together. The Ceremony is written in conjunction with the parents and a Celebrant to create a personalised and meaningful occasion. It usually includes bestowing a name on your child and declarations of promises and commitments from the parents and guide parents and other important people in the child’s life.

Naming Ceremonies can be held in the home or at a venue of your choosing but not in a Church. They are also not officiated by a Priest but by a Celebrant. Although a Naming Ceremony is secular in its origin, it is entirely the personal choice of the parents as to whether any religious content, from any faith, is included. Having contact with your Celebrant is the best approach as you can use their experience to make the ceremony exactly how you have envisaged it. The Ceremony can be either relaxed or formal. You have total freedom to create a memorable experience for your family and loved ones.

Some parents like their other children in the ceremony. Their siblings can choose to write and say a reading or poem, or perhaps make their own commitments. They may want to make a promise to help look after their new sibling. As a family you may like to light unity candles or have a sand blending ceremony, the action of doing something like this as a family can be significant in bringing you all together.  

In the ceremony you can incorporate readings, poetry and music. The most important part is choosing the aspects that are special to you and your family.  Parents will declare their hopes and wishes for their child’s future and will share this experience with family and friends.  

Naming Ceremonies will include the bestowing of a name - this is where the child is named, perhaps giving the reasons for choosing that name, maybe it was an ancestral name or perhaps had an interesting history. This marks the very first time that a child is introduced to their community using their new given name

 Guide parents are chosen to make commitments to support and guide the child as they grow and they will make themselves available should the child ever need them for advice, care, guidance or help, this is similar to the role of God Parents.  Promises may be made by Guide parents, they can either answer questions asked by the celebrant during the ceremony, or they can prepare their own promises to your child - in doing this their role becomes even more personal to them. You will be surrounding your child with loving role models to nurture them and have a positive impact on their life. 

The duration of a Ceremony will depend on how many Ceremony enhancements, readings/poems you include, a Naming Ceremony usually last around 25-30 minutes

Some parents like to personalise the ceremony to include symbolic elements such as the lighting of unity candles, a sand blending ceremony, hand and foot prints as a keepsake or the planting of a tree (if the ceremony is being held in your home).

Naming ceremonies are not legally binding and do not have any legal status, although you may be presented with a record of the ceremony as a token of the day.

Naming ceremonies can also be tailored to welcome adoptive children and step-children into a new, extended family or relationship.

My name is Carol Colman and I am an accredited Celebrant with the Irish Institute of Celebrants. I am based in Dublin and I also cover surrounding counties.  I can be contacted through my website www.loveisallyouneed.ie ,on Facebook Carol Colman Family Celebrant or by email at carolcolman57@gmail.com.  I as a Celebrant will offer home consultation, alternatively you can choose to have contact through online platforms such as Skype, WhatsApp or other video call software, but if it’s possible, I would recommend meeting  person – but as a parent myself I fully understand how precious your time is with a new arrival or toddler.   

Throughout the process, I will discuss the options to personalise the ceremony and will get to know you so I can tailor a ceremony to suit your family needs.

I am an expert in creating bespoke celebrations that people love. I can help you by guiding you through what can be involved in the ceremony and also giving some ideas you may not yet have considered.

My Special Offer to anyone who quotes DoulaCare in their contact email to me is that they will receive their Ceremony for €200 (Usual price €250)

Here is some inspiration for things you may want to include:

• A book can be available at the celebration which guests are asked to sign or write a message and good wishes for the future for the child and the family.

• Guests could be asked to bring something small for the child, such as a letter or a flower, which is collected at the start of the ceremony.

• The celebrant can ask if any guests would like to say anything about the child after the ceremony.

• A video can be made with guests saying a message for your child at some point in the future.

• Creating a naming certificate with the details of the day and name which can be kept after the day for the child.

• Planting a tree either as part of the ceremony or after at your home. This can symbolise growing as family.

• A Sand Blending ritual can be a nice addition if there are other children in the family

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So Meghan Markle hired a Doula? What is that? Part 2

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 2.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Postpartum Doula support.

In times past (and indeed today in many cultures around the world) parents were not sent home from hospital with a new baby and expected to know what to do and manage on their own. We would have had the support of families, neighbours, friends - minding us, feeding us, helping us adjust to the changes in our lives and allowing the new Mum to rest and recover from birth and support her during the first few weeks of life with a small baby. Today we are often lacking this support and just expected to cope. People do call in to visit but don’t think to bring a cooked meal for the Mum, let her rest, load the dishwasher or ask how she is doing. The focus is often on the baby and the Mum is just expected to get on with it. However, we are not hardwired to manage in this way. We need the support of others in those first few weeks and months and in lieu of support from our community the postpartum doula can step in and offer this support.

A Postpartum Doula begins work with their client as soon as they book in. For some, this is during pregnancy (the forward planners!) and for others this is after baby is born. If it is during pregnancy, your doula will help you to prepare for your new arrival and the huge shift your life will take. If it is after birth, your doula will slot right in to your new routine (even if you don’t think there is any form of routine) As with Birth Doula support, your Postpartum Doula comes with many layers of support. We help you to debrief and process your birth experience. We nurture you while you recover from birth and find your new normal. We help your older children adjust to having a new dynamic in the family. We support your partner, adjusting to their new role and debriefing their own experiences. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and support every step of the way - as each new day brings new challenges. Above all, we help you to savour the good moments between the chaos :)

Knowledge: Doulas are information junkies. We love reading, attending study days and growing our knowledge base. In DoulaCare Ireland all our Doulas must attend at least three CPD days per year. - which ensures the building of knowledge as evidence changes and new research is undertaken. We also learn from every interaction, with each individual client. We bring that knowledge base to you when you come home with your new baby. No matter what comes up, with your recovery after birth or your babies needs - chances are we have seen it before (or we know who to call if not).

Encouragement: Anyone who has had a baby, knows that surreal feeling of being left in charge of this new tiny human. Many parents feel “they are not seriously letting me home alone with this baby? I don’t even know how to bath him or tell if he is hungry” Don’t fear. It is normal to feel that way. The truth is no parent has the answers. Babies don’t come out with an instruction manual. We all learn on the job! The great thing is, with your Postpartum Doula by your side - you have a calm presence helping you every step of the way. So nothing feels overwhelming. You and your baby learn together, with a helping hand from your Doula.

Information: To new parents this is invaluable. The number one question we get asked… “Is this normal?” Rest assured, your Doula will have all the latest evidence and research at hand to help you make informed decisions when the fog of parenting clouds your brain. It can be hard to process information when you are recovering from birth and haven’t slept more than an hour in 2 weeks. Your Doula will give you the information you need in bite sized chunks so you can fully process it as required. She would also be delighted to tuck you up in bed, with clean sheets, after a hot shower and home cooked meal - and after a nice nap it is easier to think more clearly and have perspective on the changes in your life!

Hands-on tips and tricks: A Postpartum Doula passes on all the parenting tips and tricks they have picked up through their training and working experience. They help you to simplify your daily life. Sometimes it’s a gentle suggestion on where to keep the changing table, that you hadn’t thought of (like having a second one in that corner downstairs to save you running up and down the stairs 20 times a day) Sometimes it is demonstrating different methods of helping baby to get wind up - which can be a tricky skill to master.

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. In parenting, it can be helping them to figure out how to put a baby grow on baby (which way is up? Are these the arms? We all know how hard it can be to get a new baby dressed!) It can be explaining the hormonal rollercoaster women ride after giving birth and to expect highs and lows. It can be a listening ear for them to debrief or to gush about their beautiful new son or daughter. Sometimes it is offering gentle suggestions to help them adjust to their new role and see what part they can play in supporting their partner and adjusting to their own new role.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with the perfect doula for their needs. In the bigger contracts (100+ hours) you will usually have two doulas offering support. You have the opportunity to meet both beforehand. Both doulas will know your parenting style and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to change your scheduled hours you have the option of your second doula covering so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

We know from neuroscience that our brains are not hardwired to manage on our own in those first few weeks of adjusting to life with a new baby. All so often when we arrive at a new Mums house, they disclose that they feel they are doing something wrong as they struggle to cope. So few of us talk about how hard it is, that many are left feeling not good enough. The postpartum doula steps in to fill the gap. We are there to build confidence and make those first few weeks a positive memory for years to come - in other words to help a family thrive and not just survive the early days of parenting

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Meghan Markle has hired a doula, what is that? Part 1

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 1.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Birth Doula support. 

A Birth Doula begins work with their client during pregnancy. Supporting them throughout pregnancy, labour and birth. We don’t clock out at 8pm. We are there by our clients side every step of the way. Offering continuity of care throughout pregnancy, labour, birth and postpartum. We then visit our clients at home, offering support with all those early parenting questions.. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and hands on tips and tricks of the trade. 

Knowledge: We help our clients to understand their chosen place of birth (most commonly a hospital) policies.We compare the different hospitals policies, statistics and what the National Clinical Guidelines say. We also chat about International Guidelines and help our clients to make informed decisions about their care. We also cover the physical process of labour and birth and common things that come up. We can assist our clients to create their birth preferences for their unique journey. After baby arrives we share all the latest evidence on infant care, recovery after birth and anything else you’re wondering about too!

Encouragement: We build up our clients. A huge part of our role is to help our clients (the birthing mother and her partner) to feel confident. We are like their coach or cheerleader from the sidelines, reminding them of all the skills they have gained throughout their pregnancy and the strength they have within. This does not stop once baby arrives. We build you up again after birth and remind you of that strength and knowledge.

Information: Apart from the mentioned topics, doulas also answer any questions that happen to arise with each client. It may be they read an article online and wonder does that happen in Ireland? Or they are told they have a condition (such as gestational diabetes GD) and would like information to help them feel informed and confident on how best to manage it.

Hands on tips and tricks: Doulas are not afraid to get in there and help out. During pregnancy we show our clients different massages, counter pressure and comfort measure to help during labour. We teach these skills to the birth partner so they feel fully involved in the process. On the day of labour often doulas and partners work really well together - tagging in and out (counter pressure can be really tiring after a few hours!) This support continues on into parenting. From showing you how to change and dress a newborn (which is surprisingly tricky at first) to helping you find a comfortable position to feed in - your doula will be right there. 

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. Partners often say things like “I didn’t know what to do to help my wife” or “I felt like a spare tool in a scary unknown setting” but with a Doula supporting them - they have a full tool kit to draw from. They also get encouragement and a helping hand along the way. After they become a Dad/Mam we are still there. Helping them to adjust to their new role and offering guidance on how best to support you.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with two doulas. You have your primary doula and your back up doula. You have the opportunity to meet both. Both doulas will know your birth preferences and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to take a break (such as a long birth, where your doula may need to grab some sleep), you have the option of your back up doula joining you so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

In next weeks blog we will discuss Postpartum Doula support.

Until then… Doula Jen x

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Postnatal Depression, when love doesn’t come as a thunderbolt.

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Postnatal Depression, when love doesn’t come as a thunderbolt.

I was 21, and diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), on a hot June day, in the consultants room, in a Cork hospital. One minute I was worrying about my parent's car being clamped, and the next minute I was being told,  if I was ever going to have kids, do it now in my early 20s. He closed the folder and stood up, as I sank into the chair. Fast forward to 23, going out with my husband, and about four weeks into the relationship, the clock now ticking so loudly, I sit him down and tell him. In September 2011, my daughter was born. Five years after my PCOS diagnosis. A greyness descended, initial happiness replaced with fears, thoughts, overwhelming feelings. My brain telling me that I’m not good enough for her. My husband was beaming, but my heart was breaking, because, after five years of hoping, wishing, endless sticks to wee on, I didn’t get that thunderbolt. I was in shock. 

I stayed in the hospital for four days, because I didn’t want to go home until I felt ‘right’ . That thunderbolt didn’t come. Over the following days and weeks, I lied to friends and family who were enamoured by her. I was staying awake all night, afraid, and dreading the moment she would need me again. Would she be better with someone else as her mammy? I envied my husband's love for her. I envied how happy he was. I loved her, but felt that I wasn’t enough for her. What if she didn’t like me? Friends kept telling me how lucky we were to have a happy, healthy baby. I didn’t feel lucky, I felt guilty, ashamed that I wasn’t enjoying the baby I had longed for. I was lucky to find a breastfeeding support group,  that allowed me to cry, talk openly, and not be judged. It became my lifeline. I found Kathy Kendall-Tackett's book, The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood, and it was eye opening, and reassuring. Dr Andrew Mayers from Bournemouth University, has done some interesting research about partners developing postpartum depression too.

I had heard some myths about PND , and medication, and I had fears about asking for help. What if they take her off me? What if, what if, what if? I became numb, and comfortable in my numbness. I hit rock bottom in 2016, when my neighbour passed away suddenly. A few days later, at my doctor's for something else, I broke down. He gave me some options, and I chose a referral for counselling. It was amazing. A weight lifted. The shame and guilt could be put down. I could breathe. 

I now work as a postpartum Doula, with Doula Care Ireland. One client described me as “a wonderful calm presence amidst the chaos" .I am not a health care professional. I am not there to tell you what to do. I give you the information,  and allow you to make an informed choice that works for you and your family. There is no one magic cure for PND, but , with calm, clear, informative support you can begin your journey out of the greyness. I am continuously working on being the best version of myself, and it is a continuous process. Sometimes I see glimpses of how I felt, in my clients, and it reminds me that the process of being mentally well, is something we need to keep working on.

Written by one of our doulas Dee Burke. You can fins out more about Dee and the support she offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/dee-burke-1/

If you or someone you know is suffering with a postpartum mood disorder these resources may help

https://www.nurturecharity.org

http://www.pnd.ie

https://www.cuidiu.ie/httpwwwcuidiucomsupports_parenthood_postnatal

https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mentalhealth/mother-and-infant-health/#Finally,%20support%20services%20for%20those%20with%20Poatnatal%20Depression

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